For pretending to be a childlike personality and hiding your carnal desires.

Aries

For behaving like a person who's hard of hearing to avoid your partner's requests.

Taurus

For faking your interest in long tedious conversations with your loved one.

Gemini

For pretending to be happy so that you don't burden others by sharing your plight.

Cancer

For creating drama and turning every minor life event into a magnum opus.

Leo

For acting like a human autocorrect and editing others' free speech.

Virgo

For making people believe that they mean the world to you, whereas you secretly loath them.

Libra

For acting like a heartless jerk so that no one gets to break yours.

Scorpio

For acting like a class clown to make others happy.

Sagittarius

For pretending to have a thriving and busy life so that you can be left alone.

Capricorn

For acting as the most compatible person with everybody and making them fall for you.

Aquarius

For pulling off the best vanishing act and lying about your downtime whereabouts.

Pisces