Letting fear lead you also means you miss out on getting in touch with your inner knowing, or intuition. Your “gut” feel. If you’re letting fear take the wheel, you are making decisions based on fear. When that’s happening, your decisions won’t be in alignment with what is true for YOU. When you can stop and listen to your intuition, you can start to make decisions based on what is true to you, and the more you listen, the more you trust it.
It’s all well and good to know what you miss out on when you’re afraid, but how do you stop being afraid?
I know what you’re thinking. Ugh. What? I don’t want to be afraid! Stay with me. As I mentioned earlier, you can still do the thing you’re afraid of when fear is present. Here some things that will help.
Three ways to kick fear in the face:
1. Know Your Pattern
Fear operates on a cue-routine-reward basis. That means that you experience a cue, or trigger (e.g. feelings of fear), which sends you into a pattern (fear-based behavior) that rewards you. With fear, generally the reward is the relief of stress or anxiety that you’re feeling because you’re afraid.
You can’t do much about life’s “cues” because there will always be challenges, and it’s normal to want to feel less anxious (the reward). What you can control though, is the middle part – the routine. The behavior.
Getting clear on what you tend to do when you’re afraid can help you overcome it. Do you bounce from thing to thing or have a hard time committing? Maybe you avoid certain situations completely. Maybe you are a perfectionist and you try to hide the “imperfect” part of yourself because you’re afraid of what others think. Maybe you’re a people-pleaser and are self-sacrificing to a fault for fear that if you’re not, you’ll upset others. Or, maybe you just focus on the ways that your circumstances are unfair and how you can’t overcome them, and that keeps you stuck.
Identify the pattern, and then seek to find a way to interrupt it. That’s how you can kick fear out of the driver’s seat.
2. Explore Your “Edges”
You know that feeling when you start to feel like you are stepping out of your comfort zone? That’s an edge. The moment when things start to feel a little uncomfortable.
When you bump up against an edge, get curious about it. Why is it “edgy” for you? What are you resisting? What do you think you’re afraid of? The more you can peer over the edge to see the unseen, the braver it makes you. And a little bravery time after time adds up to big courage, and at some point, you’re going to have enough courage to cross over that edge.
And then you’ll find another one.
3. Look at Your Values
Reflect on what is really important to you in your life. What drives you? What are you passionate about? You can Google “values” and find a bazillion lists of common core values. Go through a list and circle what resonates with you. Then, narrow it down to three to five. Yes, you must narrow it down. This is important.
Your values light your way in this world, and knowing them well helps you make decisions and speak your truth. When faced with a situation in which you’re afraid, you can draw on those values to follow, instead of your fear.
Facing fears is never easy
You’re not going to get over the hurdle every time. Just remember, that fear has a place, but it is often not serving you in the way it thinks it is. Identify your fear patterns (the things you do when you’re afraid), explore those edges and always follow what is true to who YOU are.
What are some ways that fear shows up for you? Do you let it drive, or are you able to take the wheel and steer yourself?
Written by: Kortney Rivard
Originally appeared on: kortneyrivard.com
Republished with permission