Connect with you children by encouraging your children to try new things often runs into resistance. There’s a push into activities to “make them happy,” but is it working?
Finding the kinds of experiences that really light your child up requires you to slow down and pay attention to what they’re drawn to and encourage those things. That’s how they discover their passions.
Your first reaction comes from why something’s not working for you based on your expectations, but whatever a child chooses makes sense for them, so find out what that might be.
7. Build trust.
Have you ever found yourself shouting at your child to stop yelling?
Have you ever sworn you wouldn’t repeat what you heard growing up? Yet there it goes flying out of your mouth in those high-stress moments.
When you take responsibility and apologize when you mess up, you’ll find your child one day apologizing without you needing to say a single thing.
You may think the parent role demands tough love, control, and authority, but clear guidelines mixed with kindness and compassion is so much more effective in the long run.
When you give children the freedom to explore their world with supportive guidance and fewer rules, you’re teaching them to think for themselves and make decisions.
Giving in to your children when they need you to be firm backfires because they learn how to manipulate you. They learn not to trust you because you are not trusting yourself. You’ll be experiencing fewer temper tantrums and outright rebellion in the teen years by allowing your child to find their authentic self while making sure they’re safe and healthy.
8. Accept your child as they are.
The idea of unconditional love can be a confusing concept, but it reaches the deepest part of how authentic you can be with your children.
Have you ever noticed the way your child drives you most crazy is the same trait you have? It feels like a part of them you don’t accept or like. If you’re stubborn, that stubbornness in your child is going to set you off.
Until you can look in the mirror and say, “I love and accept myself exactly as I am,” and integrate those parts of yourself, it’s hard to accept that in your child.
The way you struggle is exactly the way your child does. Until you own it with compassion, you’ll have a tough time connecting with the authentic part beneath.
What other ways do you know to deeply connect with your children at home? Leave a comment below.
Originally appeared on: Your Tango