How To Better Understand Your Partner: 8 Tips

better understand your partner

4. Understand yourself first.

How well do you know yourself? What are your dreams and fears? What drives you? What are your life goals and why do you have them? Before you go on a mission to understand your partner, you need to understand yourself better. Wong says “It’s hard to manage all the stuff that bubbles up and gets in the way of simply listening when you have a ton of feelings and needs prickling at you.

Find out what makes you happy or upset, what motivates you, what inspires you to make certain decisions. Understand who you are inside. Once you know the answer to these simple questions, it will become easier for you to understand your partner.

Related: 20 Profound Quotes By Carl Jung That Will Help You To Better Understand Yourself

5. Avoid being negative.

Negativity is like a flesh-eating bacteria that can slowly eat away even the best of relationships. Constant criticism, complaints & defensiveness can break the connection you share with your partner and turn your relationship toxic. As you start playing the blame game every time there is a problem, both you and your partner will become defensive. As a result, your partner will stop being their authentic selves preventing you from understanding them.  

Rebecca Wong says that these “are toxic relationship patterns that prevent you from really connecting intimately.” She adds “So the trick there is to take some responsibility, even a small iota, a weensy tidbit.

How To Better Understand Your Partner: 8 Tips
How To Better Understand Your Partner: 8 Tips

6. Listen before you react.

When an issue crops up, make sure you give your partner the opportunity to explain before you start reacting. Irrespective of how big of a mistake they have made or how disappointed or angry you may be, allow them to explain themselves.

Listen to what they have to say and don’t jump to conclusions. This will allow you to gain some perspective and realize why they have done what they have done. As usual, communication is key. Focus on talking your way to a solution instead of an emotional outburst that can damage your relationship.

Listen to what they have to say and don’t jump to conclusions. This will allow you to gain some perspective and realize why they have done what they have done. As usual, communication is key. Focus on talking your way to a solution instead of an emotional outburst that can damage your relationship.

Related: How To Tell If You’re In A Healthy Relationship (When You’ve Never Had One Before)

7. Motivate them to open up.

How well you understand each other as partners depends a lot on how much you share with each other. When you open up about your innermost thoughts and emotions, when you choose to be vulnerable before another human being, you invite them to meet your real, genuine self.

That’s when you truly start to know and understand your partner. Hence, it is crucial that you take steps to encourage your romantic partner to open up more about their feelings. 

Allow them the space to share what they think and feel, to talk about things that affect their lives and your relationship, directly or indirectly. This is the simplest way to gain a deeper understanding of your relationship. However, it is also important that you share your feelings as well by opening up to your partner.

How To Better Understand Your Partner: 8 Tips
How To Better Understand Your Partner: 8 Tips

8. Take a personality test.

Although most people shun personality tests, the Myers-Briggs personality test can be highly informative and help you significantly in understanding your partner or spouse. Taking a personality test together will not only act as a fun exercise, but it will also help you take a look at the psychological aspect of your partner’s personality.

Educational consultant and author Kendra Cherry, MS explains “The Myers-Briggs Personality Type Indicator (MBTI) is a self-report inventory designed to identify a person’s personality type, strengths, and preferences.” She adds “Today, the MBTI inventory is one of the most widely used psychological instruments in the world.” With numerous MBTI personality tests available online, you can easily take one right now and find out more about your partner.

Build A Stronger Relationship

How To Better Understand Your Partner: 8 Tips
How To Better Understand Your Partner: 8 Tips

Trying to understand your partner is not a super complicated thing. All you need is love, patience, and the desire to know them. Now that you have some idea about how you should move ahead, simply follow your instincts and give full attention to them. Granted it will require some effort and practice, but in the end, it will all be worth it. 

Understanding your partner is the secret to keeping them happy, experiencing unconditional love and strengthening your relationship.


8 Ways To Better Understand Your Partner and Deepen Your Relationship
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How To Better Understand Your Partner: 8 Tips
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