4. Become your own best friend
I’m sure you’ve had a best friend in the past that now, for one reason or another, has drifted away. How did they treat you? Most people would say something along the lines of “nicely”, “considerately”, or “kindly”.
Is that the way you treat yourself? If not, why? Why can’t you be your own best friend? What is it about yourself that you’re so insecure or hateful about? Don’t you deserve love and respect just like everyone else? Exactly.
But many people falsely believe that a best friend can only be someone else. This is an absurd idea, because how can you learn to love and appreciate people truly, if first you don’t love and appreciate yourself?
Treat yourself kindly. Compliment yourself. Be considerate towards yourself, and show respect. This is the foundation of self-love.
5. Become your own counselor
This is extremely important if you want to learn how to survive loneliness.
One of the most irritating things in the world to me is listening to people who moan and complain about their problems but don’t stop to question why they’re happening, or what they can do to solve them. For god’s sake, you have a brain, so use it! It’s natural for us to complain – it can be therapeutic – but constant whinging is a mental disorder that needs to be diagnosed.
Becoming your own counselor is invaluable because it allows you to explore your problems, rather than wallowing in them.
Think: why are you lonely? When did it start?
How are you feeling? Why are you feeling that way?
What can you do to solve your loneliness? By the way, kudos for checking out this article, because in a sense, you’re being your own counselor now.
Analyzing your problems really does help put them into new perspectives. When I experienced loneliness I read self-help books, wrote in journals and mapped out my issues on pieces of paper to give them a visual perspective. The more I analyzed them and looked at them with different perspectives, the easier I found it to address my inner turmoil.
6. Be near people
By nature, we’re social beings – it’s hardwired into us to crave the physical, emotional and psychological company of fellow human beings, hence the existence of loneliness. So go out and be near people.
If going out with your so-called “friends” alienates and depresses you, like it did with me, go and sit anonymously in a public space. This way you can entertain yourself by people watching, and be in close proximity with other people. Although this doesn’t necessarily cater to your emotional and psychological needs, it’s a start, and was something I found useful in my loneliness.
Volunteer or join an interest group. Get out of your comfort zone.
There are many beautiful, kindred souls to be found in volunteering circles and interest groups. In fact, if you’re looking for a friend, this is the perfect way to meet new people.
Loneliness tricks you into thinking that everyone is alike and that you won’t ever be able to find a kindred soul.
Well, you’re wrong. I had immense, horrifically mammoth expectations of people and managed to find someone who complimented me perfectly (Sol), after creating a meetup group of my own.
There is a kindred soul out there somewhere who understands your plights, who can echo your thoughts and who can connect with you in ways you wouldn’t think were even possible. I’m a testimony to that.