5. Become your own counselor
This is extremely important if you want to learn how to survive loneliness.
One of the most irritating things in the world to me is listening to people who moan and complain about their problems but don’t stop to question why they’re happening, or what they can do to solve them. For god’s sake, you have a brain, so use it! It’s natural for us to complain – it can be therapeutic – but constant whinging is a mental disorder that needs to be diagnosed.
Becoming your own counselor is invaluable because it allows you to explore your problems, rather than wallowing in them.
Think: why are you lonely? When did it start?
How are you feeling? Why are you feeling that way?
What can you do to solve your loneliness? By the way, kudos for checking out this article, because in a sense, you’re being your own counselor now.
Analyzing your problems really does help put them into new perspectives. When I experienced loneliness I read self-help books, wrote in journals, and mapped out my issues on pieces of paper to give them a visual perspective. The more I analyzed them and looked at them with different perspectives, the easier I found it to address my inner turmoil.
6. Be near people
By nature, we’re social beings – it’s hardwired into us to crave the physical, emotional, and psychological company of fellow human beings, hence the existence of loneliness. So go out and be near people.
If going out with your so-called “friends” alienates and depresses you like it did with me, go and sit anonymously in a public space. This way you can entertain yourself by people watching, and be in close proximity to other people. Although this doesn’t necessarily cater to your emotional and psychological needs, it’s a start and was something I found useful in my loneliness.
Volunteer or join an interest group. Get out of your comfort zone.
There are many beautiful, kindred souls to be found in volunteering circles and interest groups. In fact, if you’re looking for a friend, this is the perfect way to meet new people.
Loneliness tricks you into thinking that everyone is alike and that you won’t ever be able to find a kindred soul.
Well, you’re wrong. I had immense, horrifically mammoth expectations of people and managed to find someone who complimented me perfectly (Sol), after creating a meetup group of my own.
There is a kindred soul out there somewhere who understands your plights, who can echo your thoughts and who can connect with you in ways you wouldn’t think were even possible. I’m a testimony to that.
8. Take care of yourself, physically
Neglecting yourself when you feel down is tempting. Of what consequence are you when the whole world is dark, dreary, and crumbling into a void of emptiness? None. But taking care of your body is the beginning of recovery. So be playful. Lighten up. Your body deserves comfort, grooming, and pleasure.
Have a bubble bath. Lie on a soft pillow. Buy yourself a nice treat. Get a massage. Do your hair. Drink some tea or fine wine. The more I respected my body, the more I found respect for myself in honoring my comfort and taking care of my needs.
9. Listen to calming music
Don’t make the mistake of listening to depressing, dark music to match your mood. It can be extremely tempting to do this, and I gave into the temptation many times.
However, in the end, I found that listening to soul-soaring music was the healthiest, and wisest choice. Whether it be pop, classical or ambient, listening to upbeat music actually increases the endorphins (the happy chemicals) in your brain.
Personally, my favorite thing was to get up YouTube and listen to ambient music playlists. If you want some keyword suggestions for YouTube, try “ambient music”, “harp music”, “dulcimer music”, “hang drum music”, and “singing bowl music”. All of these instruments are beautifully ethereal and will quickly take you beyond yourself.
10. Learn to love joy more than misery
It’s quite possible that you’re in love with your misery at this very moment in time.
Try to combat the dark, come out and embrace a ‘Loneliness free’ life.
I know this sounds bizarre, but see this article which explains this concept more in depth.
Originally appeared on LONERWOLF
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