He actually wants to know whether you’ll be supportive or if you will mock him or laugh at him.
Will you let him have his alone time to do the things he wants?
Are you going to demand that he’ll spend every single moment with you?
Will you listen to him when he talks about his interests or are you going to outright dismiss them?
Sure, the balance changes when you’re in a relationship with a man. You and he can’t do things exactly how you did them while you were single though supporting him to engage in the things he loves is super important because this is your wildcard.
If you’re too demanding and try to change his interests, he will feel that you’re trying to change him which never feels good and ends up with you failing the independence test.
In my program Never Lose Him, I have a very detailed section called the LIPS method. I share the critical dance between a woman being interested and independent that is required for a thriving relationship.
2. “SELF ON A” TEST.
Quite frankly, this is a ridiculous way men test women while dating. I believe that people should always treat each other mindfully and with kindness.
The fact that a man will consciously treat you poorly to see if you can take it, to see how far he can push you and see if you will fight for your own values and honor sounds cruel and it can be.
This way men test women has got to stop.
Humans do test each other regardless of whether it’s unintentional or not. Too many women fall for and fail this test.
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD EXPECT TO BE TREATED WELL, YET MANY DO NOT SPEAK UP EARLY IN THE RELATIONSHIP AND THIS IS WHY THEY END UP BEING TREATED AS DOORMATS.
But ladies, you are not off the hook. Women can also test men in the same way.
Whether it’s premeditated or not, we all know when we’re getting away with something unless someone lets us know how they feel about it.
And if they’re not OK with it, most people will typically keep doing it.
For example, if someone says that they’re going to call you at a particular time and they don’t call or let you know that they won’t be able to, then that’s a breach of a core value of someone being a person of their word, a person of honour and integrity.
This can be a way a man tests you. He’ll keep doing it if you don’t say something.
If you say something and he keeps dishonoring his agreement, then that flips the test around for you to see what he is all about. This is your time to work out if he will work with you and step up to be a man of his word or not.
If you don’t trust someone’s word, then how can you be in a happy and loving relationship?
This is how many women end up in unhealthy relationships. They failed this “self on a test” and they end up feeling used and resentful.
This is where you get to use your wildcard.
I WANT YOU TO FEEL CONFIDENT AND ASK TO BE TREATED KINDLY AND MINDFULLY. YOU DESERVE THIS AT THE VERY LEAST.
Ask gracefully and share what you value in a way that’s empowered.
You do not want to shame or chastise him, just let him know what you value and what turns you on emotionally. He’ll get it or he won’t.
We’re all capable of forgetting things and messing up. So use your wildcard.
See what he does. If he doesn’t respect a reasonable request from you, then move on far away from this type of person.
I know how hard it can be to let go of someone you thought was going to be a good match.