On the other hand, when a child is praised for their successes rather than their efforts, it can negatively affect them. Good results that are directly linked to their ability may influence them to change their goals according to the ensured results. They tend to assess their abilities through performance. For instance, praising that a child is smart because he/she has good grades may lead them to believe that they must continue to prove they are intelligent through good performance and scoring good grades.
Children are also found to sacrifice valuable learning opportunities that do not ensure outstanding performance. They reject new opportunities to preserve their “smart”. Children with this fixed mindset give up more easily when things become challenging. They may feel that there is a potential possibility of being judged and criticized. They know they are not performing as well as their peers in case they take on tasks they aren’t excellent at. This also makes them feel stupid. Due to this, the child may also grow insecure or defensive, that may ultimately hinder their growth.
In order to avoid these pitfalls of parenting, parents can resort to the praise of “process” encouragement related to effort. Researchers found that toddlers who receive more praise perform better seven years later academically. It also showed process praise had its effect on fourth-grade achievement through children’s trait beliefs rather than through their learning goals.
For instance, instead of saying “what a smart boy/girl”, you can praise the child by saying “I can see that you worked really hard on putting the puzzle pieces together”.
19 Examples of Some Encouraging Words You Can Use With Kids
Here is a list of examples of ways to encourage your child with words.
1. Congratulations! You worked absolutely amazing on this.
2. Be proud of yourself
3. Whatever efforts you put in, makes a difference.
4. That is a very creative answer
5. That was a lovely solution you came up with
6. You were so focused when you were working on the project
7. That’s very thoughtful of you
8. You were being such a good friend
9. I am glad you thought of your sister
10. You have such a kind heart
11. I love how compassionate you are towards others
12. You came up with such apt ideas
13. It’s not about whether you’ve won, it’s about how much you’ve learned.
14. If you had fun doing it, winning is not important
15. I love you just the way you are
16. Winning and losing don’t define you. You do.
17. Believe in yourself
18. The reason you are going to school is to learn. It’s okay if you didn’t do well on this test.
19. Believe in yourself.
Parenting can be tough. Selecting the right words of encouragement to ensure your child’s mental development is challenging. Hence it is essential to educate yourself to avoid any parenting mistakes.