4) You’re “Diagnosed” With Major Issues—
When a narcissist is lying or manipulating a friend, coworker or loved one, and isn’t getting his way, he may turn up the intensity by questioning your sanity. You might be called paranoid, stressed out—too sensitive or even hormonal. He might even tell you that you need therapy or meds to get through it. Again, it’s all about being in control.
A narcissist will do anything to stay in control – even at the expense of those he claims to love.
5) You Doubt Your Own Beliefs and Perceptions—
You’re told that what you know to be true is not real. For example, if your narcissist mother tells you that your significant other is a loser and that you need to dump him, after awhile, you could start to believe it and might even end up sabotaging the relationship because you begin to question your own judgment, thanks to regular conditioning during visits, phone calls and emails with her.
6) You Can’t Remember Anything Anymore—
The narcissist is infamous for selective memory; that is, he will deny that he said something that upset you if you confront him on it, or he will promise to do something and later tell you that it never happened. He might also use creative language to downplay his behavior and act as though your reaction is totally out of line.
7) You Lie to Keep the Peace—
You aren’t a liar by nature and you don’t lie to other people in your life. But due to the extreme stress caused by upsetting or angering the narcissist, you might find yourself at least bending the truth a little in order to avoid the verbal/physical abuse that is sure to follow any discussion or situation that is against the narcissist’s “rules.”
8) You Stop Trying to Be Heard—
As humans, we are programmed to share our experiences and thoughts with the people in our lives. But when you’re dealing with a narcissist and there are signs you’re being gaslighted, you eventually might just give up. You stop talking about yourself around the narcissist, and depending on the depth of your relationship with him or her; you might even stop talking about yourself altogether. Then one day, when someone asks you a question about yourself, you’re stumped. You might even forget HOW to talk about you.
9) You Start Thinking Maybe You Really Are the Crazy One—
The intensity of a narcissist’s manipulation tactics can really get to a person. And when you are looking for a solution (AKA a way to just END the disagreement or argument), you might just convince yourself that the narcissist is right—that there are things you could be doing better. And maybe you start to think that maybe his behavior WAS a logical reaction to your mistakes. Maybe you are the one who owes HIM an apology. And when you apologize, he eventually (probably) accepts your apology, only to later throw your “bad behavior” back in your face when it serves him.