We discussed our past experiences but never blamed another. We were clear about each other. We never felt that our relationship was at stake because we weren’t virgins. How can a relationship depend on virginity? That’s ridiculous.
In order to sustain a relationship, two people need to be loyal to each other, two people need to love each other. That’s what matters. They slept with other people before and that is past. How does it matter?
I am fortunate that when I met my husband, I was not a virgin. I dated him not because I wanted to try this thing called ‘sex’. I dated him because our frequencies matched with each other and we enjoyed being with other. Then we had sex.
Having sex doesn’t only mean you are getting physically involved. Having sex also means that you are getting psychologically involved. That’s what we did. We became closer to one another. We had no fear of leaving each other because the sex turned out bad. Even if it did at times, it didn’t affect our relationship at all just because I was not a virgin.
Virginity is not a parameter to judge your bonding with your partner.
It’s a meaningless taboo that exists in our society. sex is a healthy activity that two adults should practice with each other making each other’s consent. Losing virginity comes with the added advantage of experience. If you are experienced in something, you are bound to improvise it for good. That’s what happened to us.
I improvised. In fact, my skill eased him at times when he was distressed professionally. We got the time to know each other on a psychological level.
We know what we wanted from each other. It’s been a boon that I wasn’t a virgin at all. If virginity at all is a matter, then losing virginity is a positive sign and I did the right thing. So should you, too.