“What am I doing wrong? Why can’t the other person see in me the things other people do? Maybe I’m not that special after all. Maybe he’s right. I don’t know what to believe anymore. I just feel insecure and my stomach tightened every time I think about this topic.”
I’ll tell you something and please, keep it in mind: Your value doesn’t decrease of someone’s inability to see it. Maybe the reason the other can’t appreciate your value is because he’s not mature enough, he’s not good enough for you or he doesn’t know what he wants. Either way, it’s his problem, not yours.
If someone has myopia and can’t see the letters at the cinema, what will you say? Maybe these letters don’t make any sense or just go check your eyes. The answer is obvious. At least in this case. Maybe this should be our answer when someone doesn’t believe in us, underestimate us and consider us a second choice. “Go check your eyes” And not to feel insecure and spend days and nights overanalyzing problematic situations in our head. And not to spend time and energy in things that simply don’t make us happy.
Because our value doesn’t decrease from someone’s inability to see it.
Because the other can act however he wants. He may treat you badly, with no respect, take you for granted. But after a certain point it’s a matter of self-respect. We are the ones responsible to put our limits and to say –when it’s necessary- “enough is enough. I’m done”. Don’t put the blame on the other. The question is: “How much do you love and respect yourself to go away from problematic situations when it’s time to?”
I know that it can happen sometimes to be treated unfairly, but if we stay there doing nothing, giving excuses to the other person about their behavior while this is happening over and over again, we choose drama for our lives. Because drama is a choice, as well as happiness. People can’t automatically make us sad or happy. We have to let them do so. You can spend your whole life struggling to fit with people that you simply don’t fit. Or you can just take the –sometimes difficult- decision to go away, go outside of your comfort zone and connect with new ones.
Because time is the most important form of energy. Because life is small and its possibilities so big to wait without a reason for a little piece of love. Because you don’t deserve a little piece. You deserve it all, you deserve the whole thing. And whoever makes you doubt this and feel like it’s difficult to be loved, well -guess what- he shouldn’t have a space in your life. Why? Because it takes spaces from people that can be really into you and create something together. Your own something.
And one last thing: remember that your worst enemy is no one else but your pure crazy mind when is trapped, obsessive and self-destroying. But on the other hand, you are in charge of your own brain. And from the time you realize what’s happening, you have a choice to stay or leave.
“Should I stay or should I go?”
Please go away.
“But, I’m afraid that I may find even worse.”
Don’t be afraid. The worst is already here. Set yourself free and move one. Follow the sun, follow the smile, follow the warm people. They will lead you to the right direction. Because sometimes we have to forget “what we want” to remember what we deserve. Because our value doesn’t decrease from someone’s inability to see it.
This article is written by Simoni Zarkada, Psychology and Communication student from Athens, Greece. For any comments, you can contact me at email@example.com.