How the past might still be affecting you in your adulthood
The reason toxic dads can have a long-term impact is because this is a primary bond gone wrong.
As children grow up, they look to their caregivers for examples and support, in verbal and non-verbal ways. As a daughter you may not have consciously registered how your relationship with your father was leaving residues for you to resolve.
But here are a few signs you may need to look deeper :
1. You find it difficult to commit
Commitment is a sign that you’re ready to take any relationship to the next stage.
However, if you find that your relationships with men always border on doubt and unavailability, it might be a consequence of what you went through in your relationship with your father.
There is locked-up pain in such a situation, which can only be released once it has been explored.
2. You allow others to take control of your life
A codependent father can often make his daughter believe what he’s doing is for her life to work better than ever.
However, co-dependency realistically leads to daughters feeling like they are not able to get a hang of their own life. It could be about a career they want to pursue, a relationship they want to get into, or even the kind of home they want to live in.
If you find yourself going back to paternal advice for every little thing, it might be a warning sign.
3. You are always angry
No one unhealthy father-daughter relationship pattern leads to anger.
It is primarily a lurking sense of injustice that leads to a grown-up daughter feeling anger, almost all the time.
If this sounds like you, perhaps it’s time to hit the pause button and examine your feelings more closely than you have done ever.
4. You rush into relationships too fast
Relationships with toxic dads can also be the cause of women seeking out a relationship with almost every man they meet. Patterns like absenteeism and escapism can leave a daughter feeling like they have some void to fulfill.
Unconsciously, what they feel is a need for closeness and presence and in an adult state, they look to any man that comes their way, for that support.
5. You’re not sure about feeling love
When a young girl grows up with a father, whose feelings for her is a big question, given the disengagement, it may lead to the person feeling loveless as they grow up.
Sometimes, the consequence could also be someone who doubts that they can love ever and also ever find love that can make them feel happy and safe.
A consistent lack of hope in one’s ability to give and receive love, can be a result of having toxic dads.
It’s not an easy task to open up the past, sit with it and examine what may have made you the person that you are today. But relationships with primary caregivers often give us the clues we need to move on for good in life.
With a little time and patience, we can create a world for ourselves that is safe, trustworthy and fulfilling.