For individual therapy, Dialectical Behavioral Therapy helps you become mindful of how your feelings influence your behavior, supports you in accepting them, and teaches you how to tolerate and regulate difficult feelings. Another individual therapy is called Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT). ACT helps you accept your thoughts and feelings as they are and commit to living in accordance with your values even when you don’t feel like it.
For couples therapy, Gottman Couples Therapy and Emotion Focused Couples Therapy is designed to draw out unexpressed emotions and use them to constructively build a stronger and more meaningful relationship.
As Danny and Ryan began to express their difficult feelings in a gentle way and learn how to listen non-defensively, their relationship improved. They uncovered win-win ways of interacting which allowed Ryan to feel loved and important and Danny to feel like a good enough partner.
“That was one of the saddest things about people–their most important thoughts and feelings often went unspoken and barely understood.”
It wasn’t easy getting there because they had to stay engaged during the difficult emotions, but since they valued their relationship more than avoiding the discomfort, their relationship became stronger and more meaningful.
If you are looking for or want a relationship, that will make you the happiest person on the face of the earth, then you will have to work hard for it. When you are in a relationship, not every day is going to be the best. You might have horrible fights or you simply might not like a minor thing your partner is doing. In such situations, having unexpressed feelings will make the situation worse. Talk with your partner and tell them what is bothering you. Expressing your feelings will go a long way in ensuring that your relationship stands the test of time.
Don’t let unexpressed feelings get in the way of a promising relationship.
If you want to know more about how to deal with unexpressed feelings, watch this video:
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