2. Romantic kissing
This will likely be the style of choice for your first kiss with that special someone. The romantic kiss isn’t a passing connection, nor a full-on sexual romp. It’s somewhere in between. It begins “sweet” and moves toward passionate, but you’re not groping wildly. Most of the talking is still done with your mouth.
It pulls prolonged focus and intensity, feeling almost slow-motion, maintaining a touch of class. Think of most big movie kisses, where two people finally connect, the music reaches a crescendo, and the woman bends a knee to lift her foot off the ground. It’s also a great way to give (and get) a teasing sample of passion. You’ll taper on, stay a little restrained, then taper back off.
The standard romantic kiss would begin with the guy placing a hand either on her waist or side of her face, as an initiating move, with the other hand to follow in the opposite position. On her face, the best hand position is placing the thumb between her cheek and the front of her ear, with the other fingers along the side of the neck.
Start slow and savour the initial contact. It will usually begin with slightly open mouth and no tongue. After a few seconds, introduce some light tongue and pay attention to the response. If it’s welcomed, then kiss like that for a few more seconds, before toning it down a little by switching back to no tongue. You might do this back-and-forth once or twice, before finishing with a few sweet-style kisses, and then grinning at each other like love drunk idiots.
3. Passionate kissing
Close your eyes, Grandma. Here comes that deep tongue! The passionate kiss is the hot and heavy kind usually reserved for private spaces, or out in the street during a rainstorm at night.
This is where the dance of reading each other is really put to the test, because you’ll be exploring a much fuller spectrum of energy and dynamics.
If you’re out somewhere public, with limited privacy, it might simply be more intensity with the tongue and hands. There’s a greater speed to everything – from lip and tongue movements, to position changes with heads and hands.
If you’re at home, you might begin with a light open mouth kiss, introducing light tongue, moving into deep tongue, then backing off, perhaps switching to kissing and licking the neck and chest, then back to deep tongue kissing.
Amongst all the variables, there are a few pieces of common ground to any passionate kiss. One is dynamics. Play with ebbing and flowing the intensity, and riding a wave, rather than full throttle at one speed.
The other is accompanying or slightly leading the intensity with your hands. The strength and passion with which you squeeze, or pull in, is a good cue to escalate the passion with which you’re kissing. The two are interlinked.
To end any solid kiss, they tend to carry their own momentum, and you can feel it winding down. Again, calibration is key. As a general rule, it’s always best to leave them wanting more, rather than making out for as long as the muscles in your face can stand it and losing the exciting charge.
Now go practice!
At the end of the day, the best way to practice is with a partner. You’ll pick up different tricks and refine your intuition as you kiss more, and with other people. If you’re only doing so with a long-term partner you already have, then just put in the repetitions!
Very quickly, your biology takes over and you enter a flow state. You’ll find you know exactly what to do without even thinking about it. The basic tips you find here will happen automatically (and if they don’t, hopefully you have a partner who will ask for what they need from you if there are any changes to be made).
Start by being calm and on the lookout for the right cues. When you move in for the kiss, take it slow and calibrate to see where the kiss wants to go. Keep your hands in play, to match the intensity of your lips (and tongue), and play around with the dynamic, and you’ll feel like a seasoned pro.