4. Trying To Get Over The Ex.
He is looking to avoid being alone after a heart-wrenching breakup. Sometimes he will admit to the women he finds online that he is using Internet dating as a diversion, and sometimes he won’t. However, with patience and fortitude, there may be the possibility that a substantive relationship can develop.
After all, he has experienced love before, which is why he’s so heartbroken now, and why you encountered him online.
However, it is equally possible for him to remain non-committal when he is still hung up on someone else, so proceed with caution. Either way, these scenarios may take a long time to play out.
5. Already Taken.
He wants to know what else is out there, but won’t necessarily act on it. Or maybe he will. Either way, he is not planning to leave his current relationship but feels like he is missing out on something. Or perhaps something pivotal is missing in his relationship, and he wants to be reminded or reassured there is life beyond his current confines.
Regardless, this is not a man who can offer a serious, consistent relationship. Internet dating is an outlet for him and he is not planning to leave his partner anytime soon, if ever.
6. Lost In Fantasy.
How many profiles do you see that list things like amazing communication, amazing sex, must be in perfect shape as relationship must-haves? And how many of these criteria do you think are the direct result of the relationship he just came from?
More than finding a partner who will meet all of his hopes and dreams, he wants everything he has longed for but couldn’t have in previous relationships. (This category may also include the desire to act out sexual fantasies and fetishes that couldn’t previously be realized).
Interestingly, fantasy can be so powerful for him that when reality fails to compete, he finds ways to fade away. However, it may be possible for him to shift from fantasy to reality now or over time as he realizes he has to make some concessions if he wants to have a real partner.
7. Lies About Age.
He is typically older, in his 50s, 60s, or even 70s, and is set on meeting and dating women significantly younger than he is, so he shaves years off his life in his profile, even in his “current” pictures.
He may be very well-meaning and truly believe that once he meets these young women they will be so drawn to him that the deception won’t matter, and the age difference will be rendered irrelevant.
However, starting a relationship with a lie—no matter how “harmless” it may seem to him—takes away from the woman’s ability to use her own discretion and decision-making power and therefore erodes trust. When she inevitably finds out, she typically finds the age difference and the lie far more jarring than he had anticipated.
The longer he continues the lie, the worse the discovery is. Relationships that start by duping a partner don’t end well.
8. Sooo Busy.
This is the former Ivy League rower, now a neurosurgeon who has chosen the Internet to meet women who are likely on their own tight timelines. He expects to meet other busy people and have a romance that is incredibly hot and connected… for the 30 minutes every week that work for him.
While he may be quite enticing because of how active and on top of his career he is, he has difficulty converting online dating into a substantive experience.
Often, his routines are crucial to him so he may fight with himself to make room in his life for a partner. If his tight schedule fits your own timeline or you’re okay squeezing the relationship into small chunks, that’s great (and it does have the possibility to evolve).
But be aware of how often he uses being too busy to avoid real-world connections because it can be easy to get caught up and strung along in this situation.
For many of these men, work, routines or even children may offset any sense of urgency or commitment to engage in the messy process of real-life dating.