Depression can feel like a dungeon, out of which an emergence seems like a distant dream. And when you can’t explain why you are feeling a certain way and that nevertheless the feeling is there, it can be even more frustrating.
Anyone who is depressed might actually not be seeking a magic solution, or to be rescued. What they instead want and need is a patient judgment-free hearing. To be heard for where they are and to not be labelled, questioned or damned.
They want you to listen more than suggest callous and oversimplified solutions.
The things they usually dread hearing from you are:
- “You are not trying hard. If you try to get over it, you can.”
- “Don’t be so sensitive in this harsh world.”
- “This is just a hard phase. You will get over it in time.”
- “This feeling is natural. Life is harsh with all of us. We all feel sad sometime.”
- “Just ignore it!”
- “Go out for a date and find yourself a girlfriend/boyfriend. You will be good to go.”
5. “I would be more positive if I could”
Yes, that’s exactly what many depressed people want to articulate.
Positivity is certainly an ideal state to be in, but consider this for yourself, whether you’ve ever experienced depression or not: is it possible to be positive every day? As an answer you might say yes, which will then take us to “choices”. And this is where you’ll need to remember again depression isn’t a choice.
Depression makes a person lose the ability to construct one’s future or be optimistic about one’s future; it makes one lose the hope and meaning of life.
As we are conditioned to believe that positivity is easy, and it takes just a smile or an intention, it’s unfortunate that in reality, depression does not work that way.
6. “Even if you don’t tell me I’m worthless, I feel it”
The inability to get up from bed, engage in basic self-care and a continuous relationship with medication, are just some of the things about depression that make it so hard. Apart from knocking off the reassurance of routine, the condition can make anyone feel worthless.
Speaking to friends on a personal note as well as people who have worked with those in depression, I’ve gathered it is ‘the lack of participation’ that can be damaging.
This means that someone with depression can have loving family, friend, spouse and co-workers yet feel like they’re not worth making social contacts with them.
Their constant fear is that of getting judged and misunderstood and that of guilt of not being able to live up to others’ expectations and one’s own responsibilities.
Whether you’re someone who has experienced depression in the long run or someone who has known someone else with this condition, knowing that depression is an exceedingly difficult state to be in, is important.
Whether you’re able to articulate it for yourself or help someone else get in touch with their truth, knowing a little more of the unsaid can be beneficent.
Related Video: The 7 Physical Signs of Extreme Sadness
Become a Contributor at The Minds Journal
You may also like:
- 5 Ways Childhood Emotional Neglect Causes Depression in Adulthood
- 8 Things You MUST Know To Understand Your Partner’s Depression
- 10 Habits That Cause Low Self Esteem And Depression
- 15 Signs That Show Someone You Care For Is Suffering From Masked Depression
- Jim Carrey Opens Up About His Battle With Depression In Eye-Opening Interview