4. Indulging in meaningless conversations.
There is one thing you need to remember when you are dealing with a narcissist – they will never have a mature conversation with you! If you try to have a thoughtful and important conversation with them, they will talk about things that are absolutely meaningless and nonsensical.
This is one of the many tricks narcissists play in order to prevent you from holding them accountable or challenging them in any way. They will beat around the bush, ask you stupid questions, project, and gaslight you to get you off-track. They will go on and on about things that are not even remotely related to the discussion you are having, just for the sake of trying to make you feel wrong.
Even if you argue with them for 15 minutes, after a point you will chide yourself for even wanting to resolve things. You will start to feel guilty for bringing up the topic because you will try to rationalize everything by telling yourself, that the fight would never have happened if you had never brought up the topic in the first place. And this is exactly how a narcissist will want you to feel.
5. Intentionally misinterpreting your opinions.
In a narcissist’s world, no one can be right except for them and no one can be smarter than them. They suffer from an immense sense of superiority complex, and sometimes even God complex. The fact that they can be problematic and toxic human beings is something that they just cannot fathom. So, when you put forward your opinion which is different from theirs or when you disagree with them, they will intentionally misinterpret that and make you out to be the problematic one.
They will treat all your emotions and opinions (doesn’t matter how justified and genuine they are!) as proof of you being irrational and also address them as character defects. Even if you do something as simple as letting them know that they hurt you, they will instantly turn that around on you and say “So, you are saying that I am a bad person? Fine, I will keep my mouth shut from now on!”. Do you now understand how they play with their victims?
By using this technique they put down and invalidate your emotions, make you feel like your emotions are unimportant, and also make you feel guilty for your right to have simple emotions and thoughts.
6. Making generalizations to invalidate emotions.
Some narcissists are extremely intelligent, and they know exactly what they do. But then some narcissists are intellectually lazy and overly narrow-minded. In other words, they have tunnel vision. They refuse to accept when someone has an opinion entirely different from theirs and also that there might be another perspective and angle to something. The concept of the difference of opinion is hard for them to comprehend.
They will also put labels on their victims, without even trying to understand what the victim is going through. For example, if someone suffers from an anxiety disorder and they talk about this with their narcissist, guess what they will do? They will instantly dismiss and undermine their anxiety disorder by saying stuff like “It’s nothing”, “You are just too sensitive”, “You are a scaredy-cat, that’s why you feel like this”, “What reason could YOU possibly have for being anxious?” and better still, “It’s all in your head. Don’t think too much about it.”
The only way you can protect yourself from this is by holding onto your feelings and your truth, and by attributing these demeaning statements to a lack of education and illogical thinking. This might not change the narcissist for the better, but at least you will be able to protect your mental health.