9) They teach their kids a growth mindset
According to researcher Carol Dweck, there are two kinds of mindsets: fixed mindset and a growth mindset.
People with fixed mindset, believe that their talents and qualities are fixed traits and cannot be modified. These people spend their time in documenting their talents or intelligence rather than working to develop or enhance them.
They also have a notion that talent alone can lead to success and effort is not required.
On the other hand, people with growth mindset, believe that their skills and talents are not fixed and can be developed over time. When people believe that they can grow and get better, they realize they can get success by putting in more efforts.
So, they do not just rely on their talents to bring them success, but they go the extra mile and put in the time and effort to get successful.
How parents react to their kid’s success in their early years can have an effect on which mindset the kid will develop.
If they attribute their kids’ success to merely his talents and abilities and praise him for having those attributes, instead of praising them for the hard work or effort they have put in, it will make the kid develop a fixed mindset.
On the other hand, if the parents attribute their kid’s success to the hard work and effort they put in, instead of just praising them for their skills, will inculcate a growth mindset in their kids mind.
Such kids will grow up to be confident to face challenges and go the extra mile to become successful, instead of becoming complacent and stuck in their life.
The most important role that you play in a child’s life is to be a loving coach who creates the conditions that are conducive to helping your child nurture their highest potentials.
Think and treat them as a unique human being separate from you. Watch and observe and introduce them to various learning opportunities so that they can pick up for themselves, what they want to do with their lives, instead of viewing them as a portal to fulfill your own unfulfilled dreams or hopes.
As Kahlil Gibran, also mentioned in his famous classic, “The Prophet” on parenting:
“Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.
You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,
which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them,
but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.
You are the bows from which your children
as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite,
and He bends you with His might
that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let your bending in the archer’s hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies,
so He loves also the bow that is stable.”
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