5. Drama queens
Dramatic relationships full of explosive arguments and constant blow-ups are a waste of time and distracting to the journey that we’re on. When we engage in relationships that are based all around the drama, we find ourselves battling tough emotional turmoil and constant fallout that can lead to a doubting of self and a doubting of our partners and relationships.
Drama doesn’t indicate true love — it indicates true dysfunction.
Want to know more about the toxic relationship types you should avoid? Check this video out below!
6. Instant obsession
Found yourself obsessed with someone after only knowing them for a short time? As tempting as it might be to consider this the real-deal, obsession is not love and should be avoided at all costs. Obsession is unhealthy and can force us to absorb into our relationship in a way that completely destroys our sense of purpose and self.
Without direction, we flounder whenever we’re separated from our partners and fail completely when faced with challenges on your own.
7. Enablers abound
The enabling relationship is an especially toxic one and one which can quickly turn into something far too codependent. Enablers encourage toxic behavior in their partners or go out of their way to ensure that they continue in patterns that keep them chained to the same place in life.
This might be due to their own insecurities, but it may also come from an insidious need to keep you controlled or otherwise weakened, vulnerable or reliant.
8. Punitive parenting
Punitive parenting occurs when one partner assumes the role of a “parent” within the relationship, monopolizing control, and dishing out punishment whenever their demands aren’t met.
The punitive partner isn’t concerned about the other person’s needs or even communicating — effectively — about their own needs. It’s only a matter of time until the resentment builds between both partners, leading to inevitable implosion.
9. Way too comfortable
Though we should feel secure in our relationships, we shouldn’t feel comfortable enough to give up on ourselves, our dreams, or our values. Relationships that feel like your favorite pair of slouchy sweatpants feel nice at first, but in retrospect, you realize that they were keeping you and preventing you from achieving better opportunities for yourself.
Comfort doesn’t equal happiness and vice versa. Being too comfortable can hold us back from real love.
10. Lies on lies on lies
Truth and authenticity are the cornerstones of any solid relationship, and without them — cracks are guaranteed to show. It’s impossible to work together and grow together as a healthy couple when one (or both) partner(s) are cloaking reality in their omissions or outright subterfuge.
When we lie to each other, we can’t identify problems and we shut down the channels of communication. Without trust, no one can move forward in good faith.
Why We Fall Into Toxic Relationship Traps
We learn our bonding behaviors when we’re young, and we continue to test and refine those patterns over time. The things we take on in childhood can follow us throughout our lives, but there are also a number of other places that we learn the toxic relationship patterns that keep us stuck, scared, and searching for some shred of happiness in eternal night.
1. Afraid to be alone
We live in a society that constantly tells us that our worth is a direct correlation to our relationship status. From adverts to movies— romantic relationships are made up to the backbone of happiness. Holding those beliefs can get you stuck in some unhappy situations. Clinging to relationships because you’re too scared to be alone is no justification.
It’s natural to want a partner, but it doesn’t define our happiness. Making your happiness dependent on another person will always result in failure. Learning how to make yourself happy, though? That lasts forever.
2. Low self-esteem
If you can’t respect yourself, it’s hard to find other people that will respect you either. Feeling good about ourselves is important; loving ourselves even more so. Poor self-esteem is one of the numbers of reasons people find themselves trapped in relationships that don’t suit them, but that self-esteem too, comes from a number of different places.
We might suffer from poor self-esteem because of past relationship experiences, or we might suffer from low self-esteem because of traumatic childhood experiences. Whatever your reason, it’s imperative that you identify it and correct it in order to thrive and break free of your poisonous passions.
3. Failure to identify patterns
As humans, we’re creatures of habit, but those habits can quickly become corrosive or self-defeating. The real problem, however, is that even when that’s the case — we often don’t walk away. Why? Because the familiar is more comfortable than the unfamiliar; a known bad is perceived to be safer than an unknown potential good.
Our patterns and routines hold an important role in our lives. However, just because we do something doesn’t mean it should be done; and it certainly doesn’t mean there isn’t a better way to do things in the future.