4. Know that the fix will take a while.
For many people, when they make a move to start repairing a toxic relationship, they are at the end of their rope. They realize how bad things are and that efforts to fix things are a last-ditch effort to save the relationship.
Unfortunately, a toxic relationship can not be changed overnight.
Change takes a long time. In the case of my client, her partner needs to stop drinking. Without that, there will be no chance of change. Unfortunately, even if he was willing to stop drinking, getting sober and learning to live that way, takes a long time.
Furthermore, behaviors and habits that are ingrained in people, and relationships, are hard to break. Often times, repairing a relationship involves two steps forward and one step back. That one step back can be disheartening and lead a couple to give up fighting to fix things.
Recognizing that what is important is that the two steps forward, and not the one step back, is key to fixing a toxic relationship.
5. Get some professional help.
For many people, the prospect of getting professional help is a scary thing. Sharing issues with a stranger, putting things out into the world that are embarrassing, worrying about being judged, all tend to steer people away from getting real help. Instead, they decide to make things work on their own.
In the case of my client, her partner finally agreed to therapy. He knew that she wanted it and he was willing to do this one thing in the hopes that she wouldn’t leave him. So, she found a therapist. He did one session and said he wouldn’t do another.
Unfortunately, professional help is essential to help people fix a toxic relationship. There are so many ingrained behaviors, so many different angles to look at why things are the way they are, insights based on professional education and experience to be shared, and, frankly, someone to referee, that having help is a key part of repairing the damage.
When my client’s partner refused to go back to therapy she recognized that he didn’t really want to make a change and she gave up hope that things their relationship could be saved.
Want to know more about how your toxic relationship can be saved with couple’s therapy? Check this video out below!
Can a toxic relationship be saved? Perhaps, if both people are willing to do the work.
With some concerted effort, and patience, from both people, change can be made and a relationship can be improved. I have seen couple after couple come back from some pretty dark places after making a decision to commit to change and working with me to achieve it.
If both of you are willing to acknowledge the toxicity, to take ownership of your role in it, to be willing to make change, to be patient and to get help, your chances of getting through this and being happy in your relationship are possible, maybe even probable.
So, take the step today. Share this article with your partner and see if they are ready to fix your toxic relationship so that you can both be happy.
You can do it!
If you have made it this far you must really wonder if a toxic relationship can be changed. Let me help you, NOW, before it’s too late! Email me at firstname.lastname@example.org, or click here, and let’s get started.
Written By Mitzi Bockmann Originally Appeared In Let Your Dreams Begin