4. The Victim
It’s as the title implies; somebody of this type indulges in victim playing in almost any situation, projecting even his own faults onto others. The world is a cold, cruel place out to get him and he deserves all the protection and care he can get. He will try to gain your good favour – and keep it too – by appealing to your pity, empathy or own sense of guilt even (whether justified or not).
And when your guard is down, the work is already laid out for this kind of hard-to-identify energy vampire.
“A thorough, determined dislike of me — a dislike which I cannot but attribute in some measure to jealousy. […] his father’s uncommon attachment to me, irritated him I believe very early in life.”~George Wickham – Pride & Prejudice, Jane Austen
5. The Coward
If you want to get a quick and clear idea on this, simply observe how someone reacts in the face of responsibility or adversity. Does he (or she) shrink from it and let others bell the cat? This type of person doesn’t know how to be sorry or apologize, tending to promise the moon and rarely deliver a light bulb – and even then, only if something is clearly in it for him, too.
And if you ever think of calling him out on it, be prepared from some first-class gaslighting.
“- Paula: Gregory, are you trying to tell me I’m insane? – Gregory: It’s what I’m trying NOT to tell myself.”~Gaslight (1944 film)
If you often wonder why you had to encounter or worse, get entangled with toxic people, try to remember that no evil comes without something good; perhaps all this is indeed giving you one more chance to uncover your deepest, still unhealed wounds.
When you happen to recognize any of the above five traits in someone you suspect might turn into a toxic encounter for you, there are many ways of dealing with it; the renowned “no contact”, though, is by far the most radical and effective. It’s easier said than done, of course, namely in the beginning, but if you stick to it diligently, like a new habit, you will soon see things clearer than ever.
Trust and respect yourself; that’s really all it takes. ~