Skip to content

To The Girl Who Thinks He’s Losing Interest

To The Girl Who Thinks He's Losing Interest

Do you think he is losing interest?

Do this: Chase him. Don’t date other guys. Put all your focus on him. Put him up on a pedestal and think about how awesome he is. Forget how great you are and how much you have to offer. Equate a lack of interest on his part to something being wrong with you.

Stop! C’mon. Don’t be dumb. You need to do the opposite of this stupidity.

He is losing interest?

Yeah. Possibly.

But it could be the other way around. Who knows?

So before it’s too late, consider this:

If you are confused about a guy who used to be interested, gave you all the signs including doing romantic little things and overall treating you the way you always wanted to be treated… you have to realize that there’s a lot to be said for the dynamic and nature of relationships changing over time. But of course, you did not realize that from the start, did you? It happens in every relationship – the back and forth dance of attraction. Sometimes he’s hot, sometimes he’s not.

Girl, let me tell you this. When a man first gets into a relationship, he will do all the things to “woo” you. The sad truth is, that won’t continue throughout the relationship. It’s a trap. That, right there, is the reason why we, girls fall in love.

However, even after everything changes, we still stay because he gives us the indication that there will be a future and because the future is so enticing, we forget how the current situation bother us.

Now, if you really want to stay with him, you have to accept the way things are right now.  If you don’t like the way things are right now, you might want to re-think whether you were ever a truly good match after all.

First, think about if it’s really a worth-it relationship. You see, when most people think of a relationship, they think about two people relating to one another. When something goes wrong, we are quick to assume that one person wronged the other or that one is at fault.

Stop before you sabotage this once and for all.  At this point, I know you’re in a state where you might have mixed feelings that you don’t really know what to make of. These questions: What wrong did I do to make him lose interest? Am I not enough? Am I not that worth it? is in your head. Right?

Maybe he used to be romantic and he isn’t doing the little things you loved anymore.

Maybe he stopped texting you to say he misses you.

Maybe the way he used to be isn’t how he is and he seems emotionally distant.

Maybe he spends more time with his friends than with you.

The list could go on, but the bottom line is if you focus on the negative, you see the negative. The reality is it’s just as possible that he is more comfortable with your relationship right now. He isn’t trying to “win” you anymore, which is why his behavior has changed.

The most likely scenario (or at least one you should consider before jumping to the conclusion there something you did wrong to make him lose interest) is something is happening in his life that he’s dealing with. As a result, his behavior has changed.

When everything is not the way it used to be, we automatically think that he has someone new. The relationship people have with themselves is often ignored… and is most often what is to blame. Most people have poor relationships with themselves.  Low self-esteem, insecurity, self-doubt, regret, shame, guilt… the list goes on and on. Nobody can make anyone else feel “worthy” or “good enough”. We know to ourselves that that feeling can only come from within.

The key is to wait. You don’t want to date a guy who’s chasing illusions and doesn’t have a good relationship with himself, don’t you?

Oh, please don’t tell me stupid things like, a strong woman won’t beg and should stop if she feels unwanted because we deserve more than being treated like that. I know you’re a strong woman. The fact that you’re still with him after being disappointed by his actions is enough to be a strong woman. Yes, you don’t need him but you want him. The same reason why you’re still reading this.

Do nothing. The trick here is to not take it personally. If you take things personally or feed into constant worrying about the relationship, your mood will suffer. As a result, instead of interacting with him from a place of happy, fun, carefree energy, your interactions will have an unpleasant, sad or confrontational energy to them, which will cause him to lose interest and pull away. You’ll think that you confirmed your suspicions when, in truth, his withdrawing because of your negative mood (caused by your worries in the first place).

Just focus on the positive and stop feeding your mind with worry thoughts so you won’t create a problem.

Always remember that it’s not you, it’s him.

There are a number of things he could be dealing with right now. And that would be areas which need to think about before jumping into conclusions.

You have to keep in mind that men deal with problems in their own way by themselves.  The last thing a man wants is to feel pity.

I’m not saying you’re trying to make him uncomfortable, but if he’s going through a hard time, pressing him to talk about things will make him feel uneasy.

The reality is guys need to feel like winners in the world. If you inspire him to win, you will be the woman he can’t imagine not having in his life.  If you feel like he might be dealing with his own stress or a difficult situation, focus on seeing him as the man who is a “winner in the world” rather than worrying about if he’s losing interest.

There, you have it. I hope that this article helps you get through the thought that he’s losing interest. It’s all in how you react to him that will determine if he will be hot again or not. Your positive focus will shift the tone of your interactions, which will shift how he interacts with you in a positive direction. This may take practice and patience, but this is the most effective approach to shifting your relationship back into a positive place if he’s been distant lately.