We need to learn to own and express who we are, unapologetically. We must not dim our lights for the sake of others. The light within us is our driving force. Let this force drive you to the pinnacle.
Lisa Nichols puts it so aptly, “They gonna tell you, “Your lights too bright”, then you just look at them and say “Well, I’m not dimming my light. I’m just gonna hand you some shades.”
9) Allow yourself to feel the entire spectrum of human emotions
Grief, pain, and sadness are as much a part of the human emotional spectrum as joy, happiness, and euphoria.
Whenever you face a painful situation like heartbreak, rejection, loss of job, academic failure, financial crisis, separation and death of someone close, allow yourself to feel the pain. Do not hold in the hurt. Let it vent out. Trying to suppress your pain only prolongs the healing process by building negative energies in your system. The more you focus on the venting of your pent up energy through cathartic activities like writings, crying, painting or other physical activities, the easier it becomes for the pain to leave your system.
.“Trauma is personal. It does not disappear if it is not validated. When it is ignored or invalidated the silent screams continue internally heard only by the one held captive. When someone enters the pain and hears the scream, healing can begin.” – Danielle Bernock, Emerging with Wings: A True Story of Lies, Pain, and the Love That Heals
10) Practice forgiveness
“I am not what happened to me, I am what I choose to become.” – Carl Jung
All of us go through grief and painful moments, but we should not let these define who we are. Everyone makes mistakes. It is our part to forgive others who wronged us, not for them, but for our own good. Holding on grudges never benefits us.
We are not our past events or someone else’s opinion of us. If we start to develop our self-identity around these events, we will become resentful and bitter. Therefore, the golden rule to heal is, to forgive. When we can learn from our experiences and let go, we can develop a healthy and strong sense of self.
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