4) You really have no control over others actions
“There is only one corner of the universe you can be certain of improving, and that’s your own self.” – Aldous Huxley
Most of the times we become so focused on changing our partners or situations but we forget that the only thing we have control over is our own selves and how we act.
Don’t indulge in people-pleasing behavior thinking that if I do everything for someone else, they will never leave me or never get mad at me. That’s just a very futile attempt to stay in control. Rather focus on the interpretations you make of their actions, the way you react to their actions and words and if their actions are controlling your feelings in any manner or not.
Once you are aware and in control of your own interactive patterns, you can practically asses what went wrong in the past and this can help you move on.
5) Be concerned about only your opinion of yourself
If you derive your happiness and worth from what people think of you, you are on very shaky ground because people’s opinions will keep changing. The person who is authentic and has self-integrity is very hard to manipulate. The more you are clear about your own value systems and beliefs and the more you live in your truth, the lesser would be your need to seek validation from outside. Nobody knows you better than you.
Spend time in contemplation. Keep a journal where you can record how you feel at several situations, what you have learned from the incident, how you have handled the situation and also what your particular behavior in that situation tells about you, your believes and values. This will help you keep in touch with your inner world.
6) Make room for mistakes
Do you keep on ruminating over the past, feeling guilty about your mistakes?
Well, welcome to the human experience. All of us are imperfect and we all make mistakes. The key lies in learning from our mistakes and not beating ourselves up over them. Mistakes make us feel guilty about ourselves. Guilt can be both irrational and inappropriate. Pondering over past errors rarely make us guilt free.
To lead a happy life, one must get rid of irrational guilt. To combat guilt inducing judgement that we make of our actions we can review our erroneous self-judgement, accept and promote new sets of non-judgmental beliefs about ourselves and accept responsibility for our behaviors and actions.
7) Do not ponder over past events
When you start to view life from a big picture perspective, you realize that all the stuff that you worry about so much is actually trivial. Don’t try to figure out all the answers in the present moment. Embrace life as it comes. Keep your keen focus on the present. This helps us to invest the best of ourselves. Remember uncertainty is a part of our lives and only the right time will eventually reveal it. Obsessively thinking about what is about to happen in the future or what happened in the past will only drain you off your present fervor.
Enjoy the journey; keep on moving forward and you will see that when you look back, the dots will eventually connect.