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10 Tips For Letting Go Of The Things You Can’t Control

Tips Letting Go Of Things Cant Control

3. Identify the root cause for your unhappiness, and make a list of action steps

If you can identify the cause or the source of your frustration or disappointment, then that is half the battle. Once you have the source identified you will be able to think about the action steps that you can and want to take. 

You don’t have to be ready to execute the plan, but you can begin to start thinking through your options and how you can make adjustments to find better results.

Related: The Key To Bliss: Let Go Of Expectations and Avoid Suffering

4. Mindset change.   

The thing you currently perceive as failure is really just an opportunity to get better, learn, and to grow. There are many great quotes about failure, one that stands out to me is by William Whewell, “Every failure is a step towards success”.

5. Find the silver linings.  

Some people might feel that focusing on the silver linings, potential positive outcomes to a negative situation, is dismissive of the present feelings of pain, hurt or loss, however, I disagree.

I would say it’s more a matter of thinking about it as an “and” (which allows two opposing feelings or situations to exist at the same time) not a “but” (which often dismisses what came before). We need silver linings, they can be what get us through the really tough, mucky stuff.

6. Accept that you may not get closure from someone else

This relates back to #2. Sometimes we are looking for that apology or response from the other person and we need to make sure our expectations are in check. 

If you want to say something to someone, make sure it is not because you want something back from them. The situation might call for you, finding your own closure, with just you, yourself, and you.

7. Give yourself time.  

The only timeline is your own timeline, granted this may be influenced by outside factors, but give yourself space to think through some of what I have identified above. Think through your options, talk to the supportive people in your life, and when you are ready to take the steps, you will. If you are hesitating, then maybe you are not ready. 

When it comes to loss, which most of letting go is about, it is critical that we give ourselves time to heal and make the mental adjustments needed.

Related: 4 Easy Ways To Let Go Of Negativity From Your Life

8. Take care of yourself.  

Don’t forget about your self-care plan, eat healthy, whole foods, get outside, stay active and connect with your peeps. Give yourself time to reflect and think on your own, but don’t isolate yourself. Another part of your self-care plan might be to limit social media as well.

9. Don’t blame other people. 

We are all on our own journey, someone might make a decision that is hard for you but they too are also trying to figure out their own path. As I mentioned above, the only thing you have complete control over is yourself. 

Someone might do something that is hurtful or that you don’t like, and then you will be forced to make your own decision accordingly.

10 Tips For Letting Go Of The Things You Can't Control
Letting go
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Meredith Flanagan, LICSW

Meredith Flanagan is a Mental Health Professional (LICSW) with more than 20 years of experience as a social worker, educator, therapist, and community organizer. She has worked in a variety of fields such as domestic violence and crisis intervention, developmental disabilities, healthcare, and public education. Among her proudest achievements is being an RPCV (Returned Peace Corps Volunteer), serving in Ecuador and Honduras. She has been in clinical practice for over 10 years and works primarily with clients who battle depression, anxiety, ADHD, PTSD, and Adjustment Disorder. Meredith has been working in the field of public education for the past 7 years and currently holds a position as a Special Education Administrator. Her passion is turning life’s challenges and roadblocks into opportunities and strengths that drive us forward creating new and exciting possibilities.View Author posts