“Thou shalt not be a victim, thou shalt not be a perpetrator, and above all else, thou shalt not be a bystander.”

 January 29, 2019

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One of the most challenging aspects of exposing domestic violence– is that it is almost always hidden from view. According to the strategy paper, 80 per cent of women experience domestic violence, while one in every three experiences some form of violence such as rape, honor killing, immolation, acid attacks and verbal or psychological abuse. It defines different forms of domestic violence, including physical, sexual and economic abuse, stalking, harassment, etc. as well as verbal and emotional abuse. A woman in our society is usually considered as commodities or pieces of furniture- a symptom of a disease.

Patriarchal value system is liable for expression of violence against women, influenced by “comprador capitalisms, feudalism and tribalism,” by which a woman is dominated and confined to the dominion of homes. Dogmatic obscurantism is the root cause of violence toward women- a consequence of intellectual degeneration and moral turpitude, which must fight against if progressive society truly wants to revive. Some other factors which are responsible of domestic violence include daily conflicts and disagreements between spouses, family or in-laws related problems and choice preferences. Besides, the financial instability forces a man to vent his anger on his wife and illiteracy in women and hence unaware of her rights founded as pillars of domestic violence.  Sets of cultural rules and values guide the behaviors’ of members of the society. Role expectations within a culture also became supporting augment.

Guess who is “masculine” characterized by machismo, bravery and courageousness and who is “feminine” characterized by fragility, timidity, and submission?

Women tend to believe that they were committing a sin by dissolving even an abusive marriage. The influence of media cannot be over looked in the likelihood of violence against women. Violence is a common theme on movies, television, radio, stage, and an agent of provoking emblem for patriarchal oppressed nations.

Saying is not old that ‘it only happened because someone cheated, lied or acted badly. And she “deserved” it because she was disrespectful, unfaithful or dishonest.’ For such petty arguments, nothing can be said given it came from men and mostly from women, pity! But one thing shall be said that healthy people would work on their troubled relationships or might end it peacefully but not assault their partners. Violence holds no place in love. 

Or some local prodigy arose saying ‘one-time incident isn’t a big deal’. It even depicted a clear pattern of escalation: beginning with minor mistreatment and later escalates to more severe and even life-threatening abuse. Even a single instance of abuse is a good enough reason for deep concern.

Very often you heard people saying ‘if someone acts “fine”, they can’t be involved in domestic violence’. Well, they can because in fact they are all humans like the rest of us. Acting happy but isn’t, having fun with friends but not, and smiling but not feeling the smile.  Moreover, victim has strong desire in portraying of ‘oh-everything-is-fine’ since abuser sees discontent as betrayal. That does not make domestic violence any less real! If one is checking up on their partner, isolating ones partner, driving a wedge between partner and family, acting overly charming in front of people meanwhile snubbing own spouse, monitoring social media accounts/phone calls/personal meetings/female gossips, want to control the finances, putting down spouse’s appearance and dismissing their opinion quickly or worse calling names and abusing – 

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