Therefore, we don’t have to step back because we don’t like everything our partners like or because they don’t have the same hobbies as ours–we don’t have to step back because they don’t binge on Netflix or don’t like the Marvels.
We cannot criticize that someone for liking something that on our own we don’t feel any importance for. Actually, we cannot blame them for anything. Period.
We are in charge of how we feel and the way we want to deal with our emotions. Thus, if something doesn’t work out the way we would like it to work, it is because we are mistaken in our beliefs (or we finally gave up.)
Again, we cannot put the blame on someone else, and surely not on that someone. That rule works the other way around as well. We shouldn’t take any responsibility for their own mistakes.
Nevertheless, we do have the right to make a stand. We do have the right to say no, and use the four-letter word when it needs to be said–and so do they. We do have the right to support them if this is what we want. The decision belongs to us.
We are the one in charge of making any choice for ourselves, in the same way as we are the one and only one to know what our real feelings are toward that person. And we shouldn’t lie to ourselves in this regard.
Listening to our minds without ignoring our hearts is something we must take into consideration. While the latter communicates with us through emotions and feelings, our minds, in the opposite, always try to be more reasonable. It tends to question ourselves (so you can make sure we get confused at some point.) So, here’s what we need to do: listen to both.
If we pick either of those, the result might not end up being great. It is actually hard work. Finding a balance and paying attention to both. It is tough, rough and very time-consuming. The process is very long, if not endless, but it is worth it. It is definitely worth it.
Neither is love just a feeling that brings us some advantages or benefits in life nor is it just a feeling that makes us “love” ourselves. Love is nothing else than a feeling we have toward that someone and vice versa. And being able to listen to our minds and our hearts might help us to love–love.
Our partners surely have beautiful sides yet, we have to learn to accept their flaws because if we are being honest here; nobody is perfect.
Neither them nor you (and surely not me)—and it’s all fine, it means we are humans. It means we can handle our relationships and make them last.
-By Mathilde Clemence Personne