6. “Here we go again.”
When someone wants to talk about something serious, and it has been talked about before don’t say, “Oh here we go again. I knew you would bring that up.”
Obviously, they want to talk about it, and when you say that you are discounting their need to communicate. You are saying it doesn’t matter to you. If they matter, it should matter to you.
7. “Just shut up!”
This is probably the worst one of all. Translation: I don’t even want to talk to you and I want you to stop talking because I am too frustrated. If that is true, it is reasonable to request a delay.
Just say, “I need some time to think this through, can we just talk about this later?” When you delay or defer, you can talk when both of you are in a better state of mind.
8. “You drive me crazy”
This should only be said as a compliment — like “It drives me crazy when I see you in that outfit- hubba hubba.” Not, “You know it drives me crazy when you do that.” Telling the one you love they are driving you crazy just makes them want to leave so you aren’t being driven crazy anymore.
What now man? Take some time and sit down and talk to your loved one and go through the list and agree on what you both will say in the future instead of negative hurtful words. You both will be so glad you did.
Written by Shawn Doyle Originally appeared in The Good Men Project