If The Zodiac Signs Get Rich
The Signs “If They Get Rich”
Aries: “I’m going to every concert ever. I bought all of iTunes. No one can stop me.”
Taurus: Saves most of the money but throws lavish parties every Friday with Nicki Minaj.
Gemini: “What if I bought a boat and invited people on my boat only to tell them to get the f*ck off my boat?!”
Cancer: “I’ve bought 10 dogs already today. Tomorrow I buy the world’s population of cats.”
Leo: Buys their own island and name it after themselves and everyone who lives there are dogs and friends, no one else ever.
Virgo: Makes a blog to update people on their rich life. “Just booked Beyoncé for my birthday party!”
Libra: Millionaire by age 20 and takes the lyrics “I’m gonna swing from my chandelier” too seriously.
Scorpio: Finally subscribes to Hulu Plus.
Sagittarius: Wears black lace Elie Saab designer gown with a necklace of diamonds and walks slowly down spiral staircases.
Capricorn: Buys 3 summer houses and a castle while on their private jet.
Aquarius: “I’m going to buy the five oceans. I am Poseidon.”
Pieces: “I filled my pool with champagne and now I don’t know what to do!”
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