The Three Stages of a Guy in Love

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Looking back, I’ve learned my process wasn’t that unusual. I reached out to friends, I called my therapist, I hired a love coach and read books on tantric, even meditated and prayed, only to learn that guys, all guys go through these three crazy stages and none of us really know why. We only know that a “good” relationship is one where we find a woman that allows us to travel through the stages without going psycho on us, getting insecure and ending things before we have the opportunity to progress and reach acceptance.

My own insecurity of growth was worked out in my man cave of isolation, where I had time to sit, think and in the end, realize that love for me was about accepting feelings that were foreign to me and yet dreamed of. Being in love was reaching my paradise, no longer playing on the sidelines, arm-chair quarterbacking the right moves to my friends. I had emerged from fantasy, a place where rules and instruction took the backseat and I had to step up to the plate and actually get in the game, this game of love.

This love game, nobody really knows the rules we only know we want it.

She looked at me, and my soul quaked, my heart skipped a beat and for the first time, I was truly seen, I was purely known and fully accepted. In a life of performance-based metrics, where winning and competition are the fuel to attain the good life, I was now in a game where all I had to do, was BE. It can be confusing, and I still often want to run in full regression back in stage two, but I’ve learned that being “in love” is mostly showing up, being known with all my perceived weaknesses, warts, and character defects to receive that accepting smile from my partner.




I’m a guy in love. There, I said it. I don’t do this thing perfectly by any means, but I’m here and present for myself and for her. The stages have grown me and love is something I’m now able to step into, even give to others more freely. This love game, nobody really knows the rules we only know we want it.

~Robin

Related Video: We Fall In Love With 3 People In Our Lifetime – Each One for a Specific Reason.

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Written by Robin Austin Reed
Originally appeared on RobinAustinReed.com

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The Three Stages of a Guy in Love




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With a background in ministry and philosophy, Robin spent 30 years struggling with the pillars of Religion. Finally breaking free, he questions the 'normal' to now be considered an evocative, and sometimes controversial thought leader. Pushing the limits of society and culture, Robin guides others to find their own freedom in a life of self-empowered creation, partnered with deep resonance to live with originality. Robin is an ordained minister, performing marriages and the customary duties of ministry including spiritual guidance and consulting. Robin's passion is in seeing strong masculinity meet the opposite world of radically elegant femininity. Coaching self-development, personal energy, and the breaking away from limiting beliefs, Robin works with his students and clients to create pure and honest alliances for personal and business relationships.