Their blame-shifting language, passive-aggressive sulky behavior and narcissistic rage at the slightest injury becomes all-consuming for the victim, as the victim attempts to strengthen his or her efforts to meet the standards of the narcissist – standards which inevitably set the victim up for failure. For this, the victim is met with verbal assault, accusations and unfair comparisons which instill in him or her a pervasive sense of worthlessness and never being “enough.”
If the victim ever attempts to make the narcissistic abuser accountable for being a decent human being, they will lash out in rage, blaming them for the abuse and stonewalling the victim into silence. They love to have the last word, especially for the language they’ve created.
Taking back our control and power from a narcissistic abuser means going to war with the language they use against us. This means seeking to validate, professional help for the abuse we’ve suffered, detaching from these people in our lives, learning more about the techniques of abusers, finding support networks, sharing our story to raise awareness and finding the appropriate healing modalities that can enable us to transcend and thrive after their abuse. We can channel this experience of abuse for our highest good and for the greater good. We just have to be willing to create in its place what I call a “reverse discourse”—a new language and a rewriting of the narrative that instead lifts us, motivates us, inspires us and revives us by replacing the narcissist’s cutting words with our own powerful truth.
Therefore, now you know how abusers manipulate and traumatize their victims. Such abusers will use these above tactics to manipulate and traumatize you. So, protect yourself from abusers who manipulate and traumatize their victims.
Copyright © 2016 by Shahida Arabi.
All rights reserved. No part of this entry, which is an excerpt from my upcoming book, may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the author. This includes adaptations in all forms of media.
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Interested in learning more about narcissistic abuse? Pre-order my new book on narcissistic abuse, Becoming the Narcissist’s Nightmare: How to Devalue and Discard the Narcissist While Supplying Yourself. Also be sure to check out my first book, The Smart Girl’s Guide to Self-Care.
You might also like:
- 5 Things Sociopaths and Narcissists Say to Make You Feel Crazy
- Identifying Emotional Abuse before it Happens.
- 10 Things I’ve Learned About Gaslighting As An Abuse Tactic
- Projection: The Lethal Weapon Narcissists and Abusers Use To Target Empaths
- 50 Shades of Sociopath: Spotting Manipulators, Liars, and Abusers