8) They Blame You/Deflect Responsibility:
After they’ve played their hand and you’re still trying to get them to be the person you fell in love with, you’re catching them in a ton of lies. They’re acting strange and you can’t count on them for anything. They’re making you act nuts with their behavior and they point back at you and say, “See that’s why I’m doing this because you’re crazy.” They will convince you that your reaction to the abuse is the problem and not the abuse itself.
It’s exhausting for them to keep the smoke and mirrors going to keep you in a perpetual state of confusion. Once they’ve been discovered, you both know it will never be the same again. The game may continue, but it will never have the same intensity, because they can no longer keep pulling the wool over your eyes. The fact that you’re still around, wanting them back, surprises them and they believe that that gives them license to treat you any old way they want. You’ve shown them that you don’t respect yourself enough to walk away, so their treatment only gets worse from here on out.
Not every type of Narcissistic relationship follows this pattern, but this is how it looks in the majority of cases. It’s important to get the word out so that we can all be aware that this pattern exists and so we don’t get caught in the emotional trap.
Anyone that’s been through it will tell you it very nearly destroyed them and that they are still feeling it’s effect in some way. Know the patterns, call people on their stuff and walk away the moment you notice your needs aren’t being met. When someone starts to pull away from you, never chase after them, let them go. Recognize that their behavior is about them and not you.
It’s not necessary for you to understand why someone does what they do. You don’t need to analyze it to death. All you have to recognize is that it’s not what you want and that you’re not happy. That’s all you need to walk away.
Remember that when you give someone the keys to your power and make them the sole provider of your happiness the outcome is never going to end up in your favor. Keep those keys firmly in your own pocket, learn the signs and never tolerate abuse or disrespect.
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Written by Savannah Grey
Post originally appeared on Esteemology.com,
Printed with permission
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