I’ve read a lot of self help books, articles and poems.
Looking for inspiration, help or guidance.
Wanting to let go and move on,
yet holding on for dear life,
frightened of actually letting go.
Hanging on so hard,
to the flimsiest string of the past .
You can’t win, or be happy or forget.
If I’ve learnt anything at all,
it’s that you can’t hurry this process.
You certainly can’t fast forward it
or numb the feelings hoping for a miracle.
Unless you sit with the pain and listen to your feelings,
you will forever be in a vicious circle.
It’s the hardest thing I’ve ever done.
Accepting that I lost you years ago,
even though I’m still holding on
to that piece of string, that realization
that you left us years ago is very emotional and powerful.
I’m crying as I write this,
but I hope I’ve finally arrived
and can let go, because holding on really is
painful and pointless and harmful.
Yet I not only wonder if I am ready to let go,
I’m also gripped by the fear that you will forget me.