The Narcissistic Lover’s Playbook

 

6. Stinginess.

This formerly generous person who showered you with gifts of candy, roses, and clothing suddenly stops buying you gifts or telling you they cost too much or starts to complain about how much you are costing them in general.

 

7. Emotional/verbal abuse.

The verbal and emotional abuse starts. We all know the many forms that can take since this whole blog is about that.

Some narcissists will, at this point, Devalue and Discard. This simply means they no longer need you as a source of narcissistic supply (they may have found a replacement) so they completely devalue and leave you. If they don’t leave, their abuse will keep growing worse. But whether they leave or not, they are still devaluing you.

 

8. Physical abuse.

Eventually, some malignant narcissists may begin the physical abuse, and again this can start with something as innocuous as a “push” or a single slap. If this happens, expect the abuse to increase in intensity if you stay in the relationship. Even if your narcissist never touches you physically, the emotional abuse will continue to increase until your self-esteem is destroyed. In some ways, it can be even worse, because there are no telltale bruises or scars, and your narcissist can easily tell others who could be of help to you that you are crazy or making it all up.

 

What if you decide to call their bluff and leave?

 

If you decide to call their bluff and leave, there are four ways a narcissist will react:

1.  They will try to “hoover” you back in through love bombing similar to what they showed when you first met, make fake but sincere-sounding apologies and promises to change. Don’t fall for it.

2.  They will act like splitting up was their idea all along because you were “too needy,” “too crazy,” “too high maintenance,” etc.

3.  They will act like nothing happened and even have the chutzpah to keep calling you or texting you and act as if they’re your best friend. They may tell you all about their new lovers or dates as if there was never anything between you at all. You can be sure that behind your back, they are trashing you to their new conquests–the same way they talked trash about their ex-lovers to you.

4.  Jilted malignant narcissists are likely to try to enact revenge, usually through badmouthing you to others, including possibly your friends, but their vindictiveness could take on more dangerous forms too.


Written by Lauren Bennett

Originally appeared on LuckyOtter’s Haven

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The Narcissistic Lover’s Playbook

Lauren Bennetthttps://luckyottershaven.com/
'Hear No Evil Speak No Evil' by Shadow Mario on Deviantart For a long time I thought I suffered from The Trifecta of Victimhood (largely brought on by my lifetime of living as prey in a jungle of predatory narcissism): Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD), Avoidant Personality Disorder (AvPD) and Aspergers Syndrome. Try living with that combination. Never a dull moment, but I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. It's still better than being a Narc. [my thoughts on that last remark after my dive down the rabbit hole: HAHAHAHAHA! LMAO! Why the laughter? Because for awhile, from about August 2015 through December I was absolutely convinced I was really a Covert Narcissist. It's very confusing, but thank God I'm not one. My therapist doesn't?t think I do, but Complex PTSD, BPD, and Avoidant PD together can look an awful lot like Covert Narcissism. I also suffer from Seasonal Affective Disorder (fall/winter type) and was recently given a new diagnosis of C-PTSD (replacing the BPD).

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