The Narcissist Blame Game: Why It’s ALWAYS Your Fault?

Narcissist Blame Strong Reasons Narcissists Blame Others

Why do narcissists always blame you? Why is it always your fault? Time to understand the narcissist blame game!

Arguing with a narcissist? Stop it! It’s a futile attempt. People with narcissistic personality disorder always consider themselves as right, responsible, successful, and genuine while others as wrong, irresponsible, losers, and liars. 

Understanding The Narcissistic Blame Game

Understand The Narcissist Blame Game To Protect Your Sanity
Understand the signs of narcissism to understand the narcissistic blame game better

When you condemn your narcissistic partner for ridiculing you over a petty matter, they will simply pinpoint a situation somewhere in the past, that may or may not be related to the current scenario and remind you how you hurt them back then. By playing as a victim they make sure it’s always you who is apologizing. 

Related: Signs You’re Arguing With A Psychopath

Even when you have all the pieces of evidence that clearly indicate your partner’s fault, they will come up with pity stories like harassment by their mother in childhood and other traumatic events.

That’s where you start sympathizing with them instead of questioning their hurtful behavior. But, they will never accept their shortcomings!

“I didn’t do it”, “you deserved it”, “they abused me”, and “I was humiliated” are the common responses of narcissists when you question their toxic behavior.  

What if that doesn’t work?

Well, then get ready for the poisonous bomb. Your narcissistic partner will shower you with wild accusations like “you never even loved me”, “you cheated on me” and such things that you never ever dreamed of.

Yes, this is narcissist blame shifting. That’s how they turn the table when they are questioned for their wrongdoing. What a convenient way to avoid accountability for their mistakes. Isn’t it?

Related: 22 Stages Of Relationship Between An Empath And A Narcissist

Why Does A Narcissist Blame Others?

Why does a narcissist blame you for everything? Let’s try to understand the narcissist and the blame game better.

1. Emotional Pain

If they do not blame others or external factors, it will cause them emotional pain that is too hard to bear.  They have a very fragile ego and it could crush them if they fault themselves.

So they unconsciously externalize blame by playing the victim, minimizing others’ feelings, lying about others, arguing about the argument, and throwing terrible accusations. These narcissist blame shift techniques keep them safe and stop the feeling of anxiety or disgust and self-hating depression.

2. Blames Consciously 

However, Dr. George Simon (internationally-recognized expert on manipulators and other problem characters, author, and character development coach) says that not all narcissists these days are alike. Some are heartless, selfish, and cruel.

Such narcissists don’t blame others unconsciously! But, they do it to make themselves look better in their own eyes after they have hurt you deliberately.

Narcissists can handle the blame game very cunningly because they always want to be right and enjoy the feeling of superiority. And they will leave no stone unturned to make you feel crazy or make you doubt your own sanity.

Related: 5 Things Sociopaths and Narcissists Say to Make You Feel Crazy

3. Blames To Avoid Shame

Dr. Elinor Greenberg, (an internationally renowned psychologist and Gestalt therapy trainer who also specialized in teaching the diagnosis and treatment of Borderline, Narcissistic, and Schizoid adaptations) says that a narcissist blames you to avoid shame and self-hatred.

According to Dr. Elinor, narcissists grow up with an inner critical voice that is harsh and devaluing. The voice rarely gives out praise but punishes them severely even for petty matters. Consequently, they sink into a pit of worthlessness and poor self-esteem and see themselves as losers.

Their psychological difficulties do not allow them to perceive themselves in a realistic way. Due to the lack of integrated self-care, they can’t see the presence of good and bad qualities in them. They view it as “all good” or “all bad”. If you pinpoint their flaws, they will hate themselves for being defective with no redeeming qualities.

Due to this deep shame and inner voice, a narcissist blames others and never admits their faults. The fear of being flawed by the world is always lurking in their mind.

Deep in their heart, narcissists are well aware of their character flaws and how society perceives them. What makes things worse is the inability of narcissists to repair shame.

They fear public humiliation and abandonment and to avoid such a mess they learn early in their life to never admit mistakes. So, they will twist the facts and manipulate you so that you don’t reach the depth of their disloyalty.

So, a narcissist blames you for everything. It’s you who will always end up as the culprit (if you believe them). But if you can see through their mind games, you will never fall prey to their manipulative tactics.

Related: The Secret Language of Narcissists, Sociopaths, and Psychopaths: How Abusers Manipulate and Traumatize Their Victims

But, Dr. George Simon argues that blaming to avoid shame may not always be the case. He says today most narcissists are shameless with a severe deficiency of empathy – a trait of malignant narcissism. Hence, they don’t experience moral scruples that can prevent them from manipulating, doing injustice, or wrong to you.

Understand The Narcissist Blame Game To Protect Your Sanity
How A Malignant Narcissist Plays The Blame Game

Are you a psychopath? Let’s see if you Can Pass This Test

How To Deal With Narcissist Blame Shifting?

You need a high level of self-awareness to peel off that fake mask and become less susceptible to manipulations and narcissistic abuse.

Related: Narcissistic Personality Disorder Test

How did you handle the narcissist blame game? Could you ever make them admit that they were wrong? Let us know in the comments.


Understand The Narcissist Blame Game To Protect Your Sanity
Narcissist Blame Game: Why Does The Narcissist Blame Me?
Understand The Narcissist Blame Game To Protect Your Sanity
Narcissist Blame Game: Why Do Narcissists Blame You For Everything?
narcissist blame shifting
narcissist blame game, narcissistic blame game, narcissistic personality disorder, narcissist blame others
narcissist blame
does a narcissist blame others, narcissist blame shift, why does the narcissist blame me, why do narcissist blame you for everything

— About the Author —

Leave a Reply



Up Next

7 Signs Someone Is Projecting Onto You: Are You Bearing Someone Else’s Burden?

Signs Someone Is Projecting Their Emotional Baggage On You

Have you ever been in a conversation with someone and it felt like they were accusing you of things that didn’t seem like you? It’s as if they’re dumping their own issues on you, leaving you scratching your head, wondering what is happening. Well, this is just one of the many signs someone is projecting their emotional baggage on you.

You’re gradually realizing that you are being blamed for things that’re not your fault at all. You are being accused to be the kind of person you are not. It’s as though they’re running their private movie theater, and you’ve become their projection screen.

But before we get int



Up Next

Dog Whistling Narcissist: 8 Ways Narcissists Use This Covert Manipulation Tactic

Dog Whistling Narcissist: Covert Ways They Manipulate You

Have you ever had the feeling that when you are talking to someone, there’s a hidden message they’re trying to get across to you? A message that feels insulting, condescending and hurtful? If you answered yes, then you are dealing with a dog whistling narcissist, my friend.

These people are experts at sending subtle messages that are extremely hurtful and humiliating, but only you understand it, not anyone else. When a narcissist uses dog whistling, their main motive is to manipulate you and keep you under their control. They’ll use it to dominate you, and put you down, while pretending to be harmless.

But what is dog whistling, and how narcissists use dog whistling? Let’s find out, shall we?



Up Next

8 Powerful Phrases To Shut Down Gaslighting With Confidence

Powerful Phrases To Shut Down Gaslighting With Confidence

Have you ever had a conversation with someone where you felt like everything you are saying or feeling is being dismissed and invalidated, even though you know you’re right? If you answered yes, then you were subjected to gaslighting. If you have experienced this, then remember these 8 phrases to shut down gaslighting like a boss.

When someone makes you question your reality, it can feel extremely frustrating and depressing. We’ve all been there at some point. These little digs can make you feel like you’re on thin ice, be it from a friend, family member or that one co-worker.

But hey, you’ve come to the



Up Next

The Emotionally Absent Mother: Overcoming Her Legacy And Healing From The Wounds

The Emotionally Absent Mother: Healing From The Wounds

Having an emotionally absent mother can take a heavy toll on your mental and emotional well-being, and that too from a very young age. This article is going to explore what it means to have an emotionally unavailable mother, how her emotional absence can affect you and how to heal from it and move on.

Growing up with a mother who wasn’t emotionally available may have complicated your relationship with your emotions. Our early experiences of emotional attunement play an important part in the subsequent regulation of our emotions.

An emotionally absent mother may fail to develop the kind of satisfying attachment bonds in her children that make sustaining ordinary relationships possible.



Up Next

Is It Love Or A Trap? 10 Ominous And Warning Signs Of Love Bombing

Ominous And Warning Signs Of Love Bombing: Love Or Trap?

Have you ever experienced the turbulent side of love, that comes from falling head over heels for someone? The butterflies in your stomach, the passion you feel, and the feeling of being swept off your feet – feels amazing, doesn’t it? But what if I told you that behind this seemingly perfect façade lies something dark and sinister? What if I told you these are warning signs of love bombing?

Welcome to the dark world of love bombing; a psychological tactic used by manipulative people to gain control over your mind and heart. In this article, we will talk about what does love bombing mean, and the signs you are being love bombed.

Let’s get started first with what does love bombing mean, shal



Up Next

Surviving Toxic Friendships: 15 Shocking Signs Of An Abusive Friend You Can’t Afford To Ignore

Signs of an Abusive Friend: Surviving Toxic Friendships

Do you feel like your BFF is jealous of you? Do they constantly criticize and always try to influence your decisions? Are they always around when they need a favor from you, but immediately disappear when you need support? Then it is likely you have a toxic, abusive friend. Let us explore the signs of an abusive friend and how to deal with an abusive friend.

A friendship is one of the most authentic and purest forms of relationships we can experience as it is not bound by blood or any compulsion. Friendships are born out of mutual respect, support, companionship and happiness. Our friends support us and pick us up when we are down and guide us when we stray too far.

However, some individuals use the mask of friendship simply to exploit, dominate and abuse us. They pretend to be our friends as long as we are of use to them and freque



Up Next

The Playbook Of Deceit: 11 Narcissistic Games Used To Torment You

Narcissistic Games Used To Torment: Playbook Of Deceit

Have you ever encountered someone that made you question your own sanity? Or found yourself caught in a web of manipulation, unsure of how you got there? If so, then you may have encountered a narcissist and have been a victim of narcissistic games.

Narcissists are masters at psychological games. A charming smile hides their darker agenda as they play several mind games to control and exploit you. These mind games narcissists play can be psychologically damaging, without you even realizing it at times.

In this article, we’ll unravel 11 narcissistic games, exposing all their tactics, so that you don’t fall