The Hardest Way to Break Free

The Hardest Way to Break Free

Can you kill?

My father is in jail. He was sentenced to serve for a lifetime. I remember the first time I visited him, I felt my heart would burst. I saw my mentor, my best friend, my most favorite man almost half dead. Every night I lie awake and keep on thinking the thing he wants me to do…

Euthanasia— in a lighter term, mercy killing. This is a practice known as intentionally ending a life in order to ease someone’s pain and suffering. The Greeks define it as a “good death”. In the medical field, it is defined as the termination of life by a doctor at the request of the patient. This is the moment where morphine rains.

In my country, most people are against this practice. The church will never approve this method for they hold life as the most important gift God has given us. Some believe that all the pain, problem and suffering will end as long as we keep on fighting, praying, and never giving up. Fight for your life to the very end! We say it. But some things are easier said than done. Cliché, yet it’s true.

Can you imagine yourself lying on a white bed with white walls and the ceiling is too bright you can barely open your eyes? You see shadows, you want to reach for them, you want to be heard, but you just can’t? Pain is holding you back.

Have you ever wondered what it feels like waking up one day lying on a cold floor, and it’s dark and there are demons around you? You’re calling for help but the little cell just drowned your voice. Shock is in you.

Did it ever came to you that there might come a day you’ll wake up all alone and all the good times of life had passed you by? Your family’s gone and all you got are your gray hands and your frail body. You want the heavens to call you.

He feels these things every day, in that cold filthy cell while I lie awake every night. My father’s words haunt me…He said death is better than where he is right now. He wants me to poison him. Put it in the food I am bringing to him every other day and then everything will be okay. Well, how I wish I could. How I wish to God I could. Time, money and effort saved. But I was not that strong to make the choice and I am so thankful for my weakness. I couldn’t kill my superhero, no matter what he did. His blood is my blood and I want him to leave this world only when the Creator calls him. It’s been years now. He is still alive and seems to be happy even if he is not able to see the rest of the world.

In this lifetime, there are different situations wherein some of us can only wish death. We think that to be able to feel and hear nothing at all will be the best solution to our problems. In the moments of darkness, those are the times when the demons are the strongest.

But before you give up on yourself, whether you feel hopeless because of what you did in the past, of what happened to you or even if you are already in the terminal stage of life, please always remember that faith is invincible. There are people around you who will never stop loving you and caring for you, even if you find it too hard to believe in yourself.

In every death brought by mercy killing, there is a story to tell. There are hearts that were broken; dreams that were shattered and there are decisions that will take a lifetime to be questioned by the mind. To everyone out there who had been trusted to decide for the life of the other, I admire your courage to save your loved one from suffering.

Share on

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Scroll to Top