You need to let them see a normal attitude even if you live in separate houses. The fact that the parents continue to be nice to each other after divorce will help the child accept the new situation and adjust fast and easier to it.
What If Children Revolt?
That is a great possibility especially if the children are young and a new love interest appears in one of the parent’s life. If things happen to fast, the new love comes shortly after their divorce or separation, the child will perceive this new person as being the one that came between its parents.
The child sees the new person as an ending. Until that person appears there are chances for the parents to get back together, but when the third person comes into place that is the end. That is the enemy from which fault its parents will never get back together.
The only way to make the newcomer to be accepted is to be introduced to the child while both parents are present. If, for example the dad comes home with a new woman, he should introduce it alongside the child’s mother and the mother should explain to the child that she is OK with this and she accepts the new woman in dad’s life. The same should happen if the mother brings home a new man, dad should accept it and talk to the child.
How one parent sees the new love interest of the other parent is exactly how the child will see that person. If the mother talks bad about the new woman and treats her bad this is how the child will do as well.
Show the child that you can be a happy family no matter how much your situation changes. Listen to what your child has to say, to what disturbs them, the fears they have, and anything they might want to tell you. Acknowledge their feelings. This will make the transition easier.
Remember that it doesn’t matter what age the child is, the feeling of pain and lost will be the same. My friend was 25 years old when she found out about her parents and she was devastated. I have another friend who was 23 when her parents divorced and she still doesn’t speak to her father because he was the one who found someone new and this is why the marriage ended. That was five years ago.
When Children Ask Their Parents To Get A Divorce
This happens even if you might find it hard to believe. When one of the parent makes a huge mistake and the child finds out and sees how much it hurts the other parent that is when the child might suggest a divorce.
When the two parents treat each other bad and they always hurt one another, either verbally or physically, at some point the child will tell them to get a divorce and live in separate places.
If your child is asking you to do this, then you should know it has been affected really hard by your problems. That is when you take action, you divorce and you do your best to support your child in recovering from your fights.
Maybe you are unhappy or unsatisfied with your life when you decide to divorce, but remember that your child doesn’t see that, so consider their feelings when taking this step.