Ladies, can we talk for a moment? We can? Great. Have a seat. Let me tell you all how stressed your man has been for the past two weeks. Ever since February first showed up on his Family Guy calendar, he’s been sweating bullets. Why? Because of Valentine’s Day.
Between the mental gymnastics of hoping that he not only made you happy but also didn’t piss you off and praying that whatever he did pick out made you look good to all of your friends, men, well, we’re exhausted.We JUST had the Super Bowl and were probably stressed all the way out then because, hell, Super Bowl party, and then went straight into overdrive. The point is, the first two weeks of February are the most stressful time for us.
Now that’s it’s over?
Sigh of relief.
Ladies, we love you all dearly. But y’all are a lot of work. And that’s not a bad thing or meant to be a shot. See, while every woman thinks she’s the most low maintenance woman on the planet (if everybody thinks that, then none of you are), we have to make sure we live up to your expectations. Except its almost impossible to do so on Valentine’s Day. Most women – save for those that don’t really celebrate the day – want to be swept off their feet in some grandiose fashion. And that’s fair. I get it. It’s Valentine’s Day. Even though it’s been forced upon me by Hallmark, it is what it is.
And you know the day exists so I have to attempt to make sure that I a) remember and b) cover all my bases. Sure, flowers and candy are the easy mark, but that’s just enough to only disappoint you a little. I also promise that I keep TRYING not to be the dude in CVS at 2pm on V-Day buying a card. I promise to TRY.
Anyway, now we have to go shopping and try to think really hard about what you may want and what could be thoughtful. Bath and Bodyworks makes those little packages but somehow, and despite them selling like gangbusters and the fact that they keep making them, I’ve learned that’s not the gift. Or at least not the whole gift.
I’m stressed just writing this out. Then I need to plan dinner. Even if its simple its stressful.
You know what, I imagine this is a micro version of you all planning your weddings. EVERY YEAR.
Now the point is, today, every man breathed a sigh of relief. Trust me. This isn’t a bad thing for all of our grumblings, I actually like Valentine’s Day. I enjoy the look that a woman has when her man has done something thoughtful. That’s priceless.
So happy day after V-day fellas. You’ve (hopefully) earned it. And if your man screwed the pooch this year…I’m sorry ladies.
But you probably knew he would. Choose better.