The Art of Letting Go

Sometimes the art of letting go becomes crucial, and rather necessary when it comes to protecting yourself, and your heart and soul.

Things happen very fast.

From one moment to another, you find yourself meeting someone you think could be one true friend. From one moment to another, you find yourself meeting with that friend very often. You trust them and tell them your deepest secrets. You never think they could ever do you harm, in any way.

But then things happen very fast… And from one moment to another, you find yourself in front of a mirror crying your eyes out, thinking: “Why?”.

It is amazing, isn’t it? The way the heart can control the mind. The way emotions can win over reason. Why? Because we think we’ve found that one person. Because we think we are the ones this person has chosen to spend their time with. Because we think we have fallen in love, and we think they have, too.

Related: Why Letting Go Is Not Always A Bad Thing

And then a slight, delightful tickle rushes through our spines, as we feel light, pleasurable pressure on our chests. Our hearts beat fast, and our hands sweat a little. Our feet can’t stand still, as they feel like dancing. And our smile is so bright, it brightens up every person’s day when they see it.

We are happy.

We think there is nothing that could take that feeling away. We think there is nothing we could do for things to go wrong. Everything looks so idyllic in those little moments. Little moments we cherish, little moments we keep in our minds to remember. Because they’re tender. Because they’re sweet. Because they’re beautiful.

Beautiful, indeed.

Just as beautiful as remembering what it feels like to hold hands, just as beautiful as remembering what it feels like to share a kiss. Just as beautiful as not having to worry about anything, because you feel safe in their arms. And we don’t want to forget about them because it hurts. Because if we forget about those little moments, it means they’re gone. It means we have to let go.

But once again, things happen very fast. So utterly, disgustingly, inadequately fast. And so you find yourself in front of the mirror, black mascara running down your cheeks, wondering: “Why? Where have I gone wrong? What did I do?”.

It mostly is one decision we made.

You knew you had that choice. But you wanted to meet him. Because seeing him made you happy. Of course, you didn’t plan to drink that much until you passed out.

You grab your smartphone and text him an apologetic message:

‘Oh my God, what happened last night? I’m so, so sorry I drank that much, I lost it, I’m so embarrassed!’. 

Seconds go by, your nervousness is at its maximum.

Your hands sweat, your fingers tremble and so does your jaw. But you hope he’ll understand. Seconds transform into minutes. Minutes to hours. Eventually, you’ll try again with a better apology:

‘Please, I’m really sorry. Let’s meet and talk this out. I’m embarrassed and didn’t mean for any of this to happen. I want to apologize in person, but I need you to answer the phone first, so we can discuss where and when we meet. Please.’

No answer.

During that time, you have texted your best girlfriend, and she has told you this one thing that has taken you months to realize:

“What do you mean he wasn’t with you when you needed him? What do you mean he left you when you were fighting for staying conscious? You don’t do that to a friend. If you see they’re in trouble, you stay with them and try to help them out.” 

It hits you, she’s right:

“He was my friend. Why did he leave me? I had too much to drink and I started throwing up…”. But because it hurts way too much to see the awful truth, you make up excuses for him: “Surely it wasn’t a nice scene to look at… And he was not my babysitter that night, I can understand why he left…”. 

Related: Letting Go and Holding On: The Entanglement of Love

Why? Because emotions have taken over reason and you think you’ve found that one person. Because you think you have fallen in love, and you think they have, too. Because you think they’ll understand. You hope they’ll understand. You dream they’ll understand.

Every time the phone vibrates, you hope it’s a message from them, asking you a simple ‘How are you doing?’. You rush to your mobile, see it’s another person, and you can’t help but feel a bit disappointed. Your answer, throw your device away, and hope the next text you get is going to be from that special guy. Stop lying to yourself. Hours have come to be days, days have become weeks, and weeks – months. And still no word from him.

To stop talking to a person is a legitimate decision. Surely, we humans make up excuses so we don’t hurt someone’s feelings, but the truth is: If a person decides not to talk to you, they will not. Not because they’re busy doing this, not because they’re busy doing that. Simply because they’ve decided not to. And there may be a thousand different reasons for it. Maybe they’re feeling angry. Or anxious. Upset. Embarrassed. Even, afraid…  Maybe you’ll get to know someday. Maybe not. – Whatever the reason may be, one must learn to accept and respect it.

And yes. Yes, it hurts. It is that kind of pain that hurts nowhere and everywhere at the same time. At all times. It occupies your mind, it preoccupies you. At day, at night. In your conscious thoughts and in your dreams. You don’t want to think about what happened, you don’t want to think about him. And yet you find yourself overthinking the whole situation. Over and over again. Because he broke your heart.

You are heartbroken.

Why?

Because you were happy.

You thought there was nothing that could take that feeling away. You thought there was nothing you could do for things to go wrong. Everything looked so idyllic in those little moments. Little moments you cherished, little moments you kept in your mind to remember. Because they were tender. Because they were sweet. Because they were beautiful.

Related: 5 Reasons Why Letting Go Of Love That Hurts Is Good For You

Beautiful, indeed.

Just as beautiful as remembering what it felt like to have a laugh together, just as beautiful as remembering what it felt like to look into each other’s eyes. Just as beautiful as not having to worry about anything because they told you they’d protect you no matter what. And you didn’t want to forget about them because it hurt. Because if you forgot about those little moments, it meant they would be gone. And you wanted them to come back.

But one day, through life’s coincidences, you met him at a train station. He saw you. Winked at you. Gave you a little smile. He approached you and you felt impotent. What to say, what to do? Slap him? Hug him? Punch him? Kiss him? – You knew you had practiced in front of the mirror, you knew what to say. You knew you were about to yell at him for leaving you when you needed him most, for giving you the silent treatment… You knew you wanted to give him a piece of your mind.

But suddenly, the following heartfelt words came out of his mouth:

“I’m sorry.” 

There. He had said it. Nothing more, nothing less. You had been waiting for it and had hoped for it to be so much more dramatic. Much different than that situation. Two simple words had been enough for you to realize he had let go. He had forgiven himself.

Seeing him standing there in front of you so calmly, looking so incredibly tranquil… He was at peace with himself. He was at peace with you. And that struck you because your heart still was wounded, as it hadn’t let go from all those questions you had asked yourself: ‘Why, how did it come to this, where did I go wrong…’.   

And there was the lesson: Learn to let go.

Why?

Because it will set you free. Because it will ease the pain. You won’t count anymore how many months have gone by since the last time you talked. You will be able to forgive, not only those who hurt you but yourself. Only then you’ll be able to move on in life, and able to live without holding a grudge against anybody.

Learn to let go.

Because only this way you can be sure you’ll find that one person someday. Because you’ll be the one this person has chosen to spend their time with. Because you will fall in love, and they will, too. Because a slight, delightful tickle will rush through your spine once again, and you’ll feel light, pleasurable pressure on your chest. Your heart will beat again. And you will feel that long lost emotion you had been seeking all this time.

Related: 6 Buddhist Practices For Letting Go Of A Relationship

So, please, learn to let go! Because things happen very fast. – So incredibly, beautifully, charmingly fast.

From one moment to another, you will find yourself meeting someone you think could be your one true love. From one moment to another, you will find yourself shedding a tear of happiness. From one moment to another you find will yourself smiling, as you’ll realize that your loved heart was once broken.

And you will smile. Because you’ll believe in love.

If you want to know more about letting go, then check this video out below:

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