When kids feel as if their parents trust them, they gain the confidence to trust themselves. Don’t make your child have to prove that you can trust him. This just sets you both up for failure. Your child will likely make some “bad” choices, trust him anyone. The more you trust him, the more trustworthy he will become.
3. Think Positively:
Teach your kids to think positively, and to look for the good that can happen. Instead of imagining what they don’t want, invite your kids to imagine what they dowant. Also, learn to model this behavior.
4. Make Agreements:
Make agreements with your kids that allow them to retain their power. For example, instead of telling your kids what time they need to go to bed, negotiate the time and have them agree to it.
5. Focus on the Good:
Make a list of all the positive attributes of your children, and each day re-read the list. When you see your children, remember these attributes and compliment them often.
6. Surrender Criticism:
Don’t criticize your child’s clothes, hair or room. Especially don’t criticize their friends. When you criticize your child’s friends, your child takes it personally and will likely alienate you.
7. Put Your Child First:
Separate your child’s “performance” from his/hers intrinsic value. This means that you must stop making grades more important than your child’s emotional well-being and that you do not punish your child for not doing well in school. Take the pressure off.
Speak to your child and find out what your child wants and then do your best to explore options that support their choices – which could be very different than the ones you had in mind.
8. Think for Themselves:
Encourage your children to think for themselves, and to be individuals who don’t make choices based on fear or peer pressure.
9. Emotional Needs:
Show your children how to meet their own emotional needs – giving themselves approval, acceptance and love. Teach your children that they don’t need the approval of anyone in order to be worthy – not even yours.
10. Speak with Respect:
Speak to your children with respect. If your children feel as if you really respect them, it will go a long way in opening up the lines of communication.