Don’t rush this part, but take your time. Come up with several things you could do and be as specific as possible. Then select one, and move forward with putting that experience in your life. Just as in the example above, Brian would have needed to speak with Alicia about his insecurities regarding his ability to provide. He then would have needed to refrain from spending even more time at work.
That is the sort of practical and ‘real world’ experience that is required to provide a corrective experience. Don’t settle for something less. Corrective experiences initially create anxiety. That’s one of the reasons they are ‘corrective’ because you have faced something you fear. If the experience you have decided upon does not cause you to be anxious, then it probably is not very closely connected with your relationship anxieties.
In that case, it is unlikely to provide you much help. Do something that requires mustering a degree of courage. Then you’ll know that you are on the right track.
Anxiety can be a relationship killer. Even if a relationship remains intact in the face of such fears, it will never develop to its full potential. Whether it be a relationship with your spouse, children, friends, or siblings, anxiety is your enemy.
Don’t give in. Don’t get comfortable living with such fears. Instead, identify how you have been unintentionally accommodating this fear and then do the opposite. Provide yourself with corrective experiences that push back against the fear and provide you with the freedom to make the most of every relationship.
One place to start is using the information we’ve just reviewed. Or, if you are in the Folsom area you might think of joining a support group. In addition, therapy can be very effective. My colleagues and I would love to be of help, but if you are looking for other sources of support in or around the Folsom California area, it may be that Valley Psychological Center or The Place Within might be of interest.
If you struggle with relationship anxiety don’t delay tackling the problem. Once you begin to make changes you’ll realize that it is easier to solve than you had thought, and life is far more fulfilling than you could have imagined.
A healthy amount of relationship anxiety can sometimes be a good thing because it shows that your feelings are genuine for your partner, and you would not want to lose them. But if your relationship is constantly plagued with anxiety, then you need to stop and think about what you can do about it. Anxiety cannot be a permanent part of your relationship.