Is Your Kid A Narcissist? How You May Be Creating Narcissistic Children

Is Your Kid A Narcissist? How You May Be Creating A Narcissistic Child

Although psychologists are still trying to figure out what makes narcissistic children, they believe parental behavior is a major contributing factor. If during the developmental stage you overvalue your child and affirm that they are better than others who deserve special treatment, then you are encouraging them to grow up to be a narcissist.

I am often asked, “What type of parenting leads children to grow up with a Narcissistic Personality Disorder?” Or “Are the children of Narcissistic parents at risk of becoming Narcissists themselves?” Today’s post may shed some light on this issue.

 

How Does Someone “Get” a Narcissistic Personality Disorder?

Narcissistic Personality Disorders are a byproduct of certain childhood family environments. All children want their parents’ approval and attention. Children adapt to their homes, and often the most productive and reasonable adaptation to some home situations is to become a Narcissist.

Below are some common scenarios that can contribute to the creation of Narcissistic children

Scenario 1— Narcissistic Parental Values

In this situation, the child is raised in a family that is very competitive and only rewards high achievement. One or both of the parents are Exhibitionist Narcissists. The family motto is: If you can’t be the best, why bother?

Love is conditional: When you come in first in the race, win the science fair or star in the school show, you are showered with praise and attention. When you do not, you are a disappointment. Everyone in the family is supposed to be special and prove it over and over again. No matter how much you achieve, the pressure is never off. As one woman said: “When I came home with a report card with all A’s, my father asked me if anyone got an A+.”

Children in these families do not feel stably loved. It is hard for them to enjoy anything for its own sake if it does not confer status. Instead of being supported by their parents to explore what they like and want to do more of, they only receive support for high achievement.

Their parents are not interested in their children’s “real selves,” they are mainly interested in how their children can make the family look good. They want to be able to brag to their neighbors: “Look at what my kid did!”

The children who grow up in homes like this only feel secure and worthwhile when they are successful and recognized as the “best.” The conditional love of their childhood and the over-evaluation of high status and success in their home sets in motion a lifelong pattern of chasing success and confusing it with happiness.

Example: John and his Life on Paper

John, a brilliant and successful man with a Narcissistic Personality Disorder, told me that he was coming to therapy because he knew that had lost his way. Nothing he did seemed to have any real meaning for him. He said, “I have a ‘resume’ life. Everything about me looks good on paper. Even my hobbies are cool. But somewhere along the way, I lost touch with who I really am. I no longer feel much genuine pleasure in my accomplishments. I started out enjoying what I do well, but now I do it only because it impresses other people. Inside I feel empty.”

Hidden Desires Of Each Zodiac Sign

Hidden Desires Of Each Zodiac Sign

What Are the Hidden Desires Of Each Zodiac Sign

Everyone on earth is born under the umbrella of stars. Given the date of their birth, everyone falls under one of the twelve zodiacs. The zodiac signs have a lot to say about a person, his perception, and personality. Everyone born under the same stars has few definite traits are similar and holds true to most.

Every person has some hidden desires deep within them. Ever wondered what it might be? Each zodiac sign has an enormous hidden desire for one thing which they will stop at nothing to obtain it.

Hidden Desires Of Each Zodiac Sign
Hidden Desires Of Each Zodiac Sign

 

What inspires the Zodiacs each morning to get up? Hidden desires of each Zodiac

 

Aries (March 21st and April 19th)

Aries desire to take the lead

They desire to take the lead, achieve big things, set trends and be in the spotlight.

Aries is the most determined of all. They are born to be leaders and dream big. Aries Loves Adventure. Always give their best to achieve the goals they have set in mind. Nothing can come between their goals and determination. They are the ones who set examples and becomes role models. Through their kindness and compassion, Aries make others follow them and lead the pack.

 

Taurus (April 21st and May 20th)

protection tauras

They desire security in all areas of their life

Taurus craves security and demands in all areas of its life. They like to follow rather than lead, very good in business as finance as they are cautious people and also the most loyal of all. Taurus can be a  good financial advisor as the financial decisions they make can be relied upon. Stubborn at times and it is for the thing they value the most – security.

 

Gemini (May 22nd and June 21st)

knowledge gemini

They desire knowledge, new experiences, and things.

The Gemini has a thirst for knowledge that’s never fully satisfied and they get a real kick out of trying something new. The adventure loving people who keep trying new things. They are also very clever and creative and this makes them adaptable to any situation very soon. Taking up new challenges and traveling around the world trying new things is what they crave.

Geminis are full of energy ready to take whatever challenge that comes in front of them. Prefer solitude at times in order to introspect themselves. They like learning and are constantly looking for new things to learn to expand the horizon of their knowledge.

 

Cancer (June 22nd and July 21st)

feel free Cancer

They desire to be free and unrestrained in all aspects of life

True freedom is always on the mind of a Cancerian and they will stop at nothing until they achieve it. Cancerians desire freedom emotionally, financially and romantically. This is a lot who love their freedom and independence and will not take bullshit that comes in between. They are among the most loyal signs.

They don’t like chains, nothing can tie them down, and are born to fly and will continue to do so. Also shy and sensitive at times and this brings a sense of insecurity in them at times. Cancer aims high and has extremely good intuitive and observation power.

 

Leo (July 23rd and August 22nd)

desires appreciation leo

They desire constant appreciation in life

Leos desire praise and respect constantly. They are ambitious and confident people with big goals set to achieve and they will stop at nothing to achieve them.  Like to lead and have every situation under their control. Empathic and caring but also very sensitive to energies around them.

They give people a lot of chances and have their expectations high. Love to be praised for their accomplishment, it makes them fulfilled, if not appreciated they find it rude.

 

Virgo (August 23rd and September 22nd)

desire affection virgo

They desire love and affection most in life.

Virgos are obsessed with love and desire it like a drug. They both spread and receive it everywhere they go. Very reliable and loyal, loyalty is something that matters to them the most. Virgos are very intelligent and this allows them to reach their goal pretty smoothly. People often misjudge Virgos for being cold but they are actually filled with love and desire love the most. They are kind-hearted and compassionate.

6 Kinds Of Compliments Men Would Love To Hear More Often

When it comes to men, not all compliments are created equally. Start with these six styles.

I have written countless articles on ways to make women feel more seen, heard, loved, and appreciated.

As many readers have expressed a desire to hear the male equivalent, I figured it’s time to fulfill those requests.

I don’t feel like it’s talked about enough, but men respond to praise and appreciation just as much as women do. In many cases, possibly even more so.

Whatever the reason, women tend to get the lion’s share of the verbal praise when it comes to how they look and how they make men feel.

Case in point, I can name ten songs off the top of my head that are solely about how attractive women are (inside and out) and I can’t even name five about men without really digging for them.

Some of these I heard as requests from the men who asked me to write this article, others are things that my male clients have often mentioned they felt insecure about in their relationships, and a smaller portion have come from my personal dating history.

 

So without further ado, here are six kinds of compliments that men would love to hear more often.

1. Compliments that show that you believe in him

One of the biggest things that makes a guy melt is when his partner supports him and believes in him. This is one of the most consistent things that I heard from my male readers when I went to them regarding writing this article.

One of my clients said, “When she says any variation of ‘I believe in you’ I feel like a superhero who can achieve anything”.

Examples:

– I believe in you.

– I love how driven you are.

– Whatever you put your mind to, I know you’ll be able to achieve it. You always have.

– Of course people want to work with you/for you… people trust you and your abilities. As they should. You’re amazing at what you do.

– Of course you got a raise/that new job. You’re talented, hard working, and everyone knows it. I’m so proud of you.

– You’ve accomplished so much in your life already. I’m sure you’ll continue to go on to do many more great things. You’ll make the most of any situation that comes your way.

 

2. Body and appearance-specific compliments

While men might not get as much body shaming marketing as the average woman does in western society, guys are still insecure about certain elements of their physical appearance.

Besides, every person (regardless of gender) likes knowing that their partner finds them aesthetically pleasing. Whether it’s his arms, hands, eyes, thighs, or private parts that are on the receiving end of the compliment, guys aren’t too picky.

Here are some examples of compliments that my male readers said touched their heart:

– You look so handsome.

– Wow… you weren’t kidding when you said you had been working out. Look at you!

– You look extra manly today. I like it.

– You look so handsome in that suit/tie/outfit!

– I love being wrapped up in your sexy arms.

– You look beautiful when you laugh.

– You look beautiful when you cry.

– You always look so handsome… even when you’ve just woken up and your hair is all messy.

 

3. Compliments that acknowledge his efforts

Everyone likes to be recognized for the effort that they put into their relationship.

Show him that you appreciate what he does for you. Even the simplest things. Notice and recognize it all. Whenever you appreciate something out loud, you tend to get more of it. And even if you don’t, you still get to make him feel loved.

Whether he took out the garbage, replaced the light bulb, or did the dishes is irrelevant… what matters is that you recognize him for his acts of service every now and then.

Examples…

– You’re so good to me.

– Thank you so much for cooking for me, love. I really appreciate it. And this is delicious!

– You can fix anything, can’t you?

– I love how gentle you are with me.

– Thank you for listening to me. I really appreciate you letting me vent.

– I noticed that you did (this) for me. Thank you for being so thoughtful. I really appreciate it. You’re very sweet with me and I love it.

– I loved seeing you playing with (mutual friend’s) kids earlier today. Your playful side is so sexy. I love that you can cut loose and have fun sometimes.

 

4. Compliments that show that you respect him

Several studies have shown that men feel respect as love and they put a higher emotional premium on feeling respected than necessarily feeling loved.

While I don’t think that these studies necessarily mean much on the individual level, it’s important to note that your man likely wants to feel respected within your relationship.

Here are some ways to say it to him:

– You’re a good man.

– I’m proud of you.

– I have so much respect for you.

– You become a better version of yourself every time I see you.

– It took a lot of courage to admit you were wrong/apologize/have that tough conversation back there… I really admire that you were able to do that. It was very attractive.

– I love how forgiving you are with those closest to you. It took a lot of strength to be the bigger man back there and you couldn’t have done any better.

– I love how considerate/caring you are with my friends/parents/co-workers. You are so aware of other people and I really appreciate it.