The Fearfully Pleasing Storm

The Fearfully Pleasing Storm

Yet another tornado, embracing me with no plans of letting go-

The sensation of your pull was fearfully pleasing, and the interior ciaos is what I needed.

The addiction was not expected. You forced me to open up when I didn’t know I wanted to.  I’ve lost control, or maybe I never had it. At that moment I wanted to feel every bit of you. You, the dark storm, who saw every piece of me as is, and took it.  You didn’t care that I was just sitting in your path trying to live my life. you just sucked me up with no thoughts of what the outcome would be.

When you are embraced in the eye of the storm, you only see what’s around you. There is no stable ground to stand on.  Emotions and feelings are everywhere, and they just keep coming, flooding, and taking charge of every piece of your being.  The way out is on top, the light, it seems so hard to reach. Know that eventually you will get there, but not just yet.

Secretly I believe I am part of the storm, the darkness.  If like attracts like, then you, the darkness, knew you would find me, and take me, and I would willfully go.

The fight was over just as fast as it started, and there I was alone, again, on my path, with only the remnants of what I fearfully loved, that destroyed me yet again. Perhaps when we meet again, I will be just a bit more prepared- or maybe I will just surrender to you willingly, until my heart can no longer bare it. When that day comes, I will be the storm that consumes those that fearfully love the darkness.


Here’s the thing about people with good hearts. They give you excuses when you don’t explain yourself. They accept apologies you don’t give. They see the best in you when you don’t need them to. At your worst, they lift you up, even if it means putting their priorities aside. The word “busy” does not exist in their dictionary. They make time, even when you don’t. And you wonder why they’re the most sensitive people. You wonder why they’re the most caring people. You wonder why they are willing to give so much of themselves with no expectation in return. You wonder why their existence is not so essential to your well-being. It’s because they don’t make you work hard for the attention they give you. They accept the love they think they’ve earned and you accepted the love you think you’re entitled to. Let me tell you something. Fear the day when a good heart gives up on you. Our skies don’t become grey out of no where. Our sunshine does not allow the darkness to take over for no reason. A heart does not turn cold unless it’s been treated
with coldness for a while.

The Dark of Foul

The Dark of Foul

In the dark of foul, not implant
Not a soul, would know
To despise, but to die
Here, Thou,
shall know the eternity
Of the darkness…
That undone, but to love
Is a wistful lust
Shall we embrace the sun
But to deny one power
Here, Thou,

~ Keefe R.D

Instead Of Chasing Happiness, Search The Darkness

It’s Not Happiness That Holds The Solution To Your Problems; It Is Your Pain.

Your pain, your darkness, your greatest fears and shadows are the doorways towards your enlightenment.

Within the cobwebs, the dust, the dirt, the dank and rancid confines of your deepest pain, is the key to everything you’ve been searching for.

But most of us don’t understand that the only way around pain is through the pain. Our age-old conditioning whispers in our ear that happiness can be found when we improve this bit of ourselves, change that person, move to this place, get that job, reach this age, obtain that degree … and on and on, ad infinitum.

And there is a certain addictive quality to playing the happiness game. There’s always a new thrill to pursue, a new drama to play out, a new thing to obtain. Quite simply, the pursuit of happiness gives you something to do, so it makes you feel like you’re spending your time meaningfully.

In fact, most of our behavior is driven by chasing happiness. We chase the “ideal” relationship because we feel it will complete us. We chase higher paying jobs and more money because we believe it will bring us more comfort and security which we believe will give us happiness. In wealthy countries, we buy things we don’t need which we believe will make us happy.

But once we reach or obtain what we’ve been pursuing, what happens? How long do we remain happy? Sometimes we feel happy for a week, a month, or even a single moment. But then the feeling passes, and we’re on the treadmill again, peddling frantically for the next “source” of happiness.

And the sad thing is that we often do this completely unconsciously and impulsively.

Yes, the search of happiness is the most common and pathological addiction we all share these days, and indeed, since the beginning of the human race.


The Cure For Pain Is In The Pain

“The cure for pain, is in the pain”. — Rumi

The greatest pain that I struggle with isn’t anger or sadness, but fear. I put it down to various social, inherited, neurological, hormonal, and psychological factors. But the fact of the matter is that it’s there. And I’ve tried to escape it for my entire life, always on a daily basis.

For as long as I can remember, there has been fear in my life. Fear of God, fear of my parents, fear of my teachers, fear of other people, and ultimately, fear of myself.

I have tried endless practices to deal with this pain. I’ve tried medication, herbs, cognitive behavioral therapy, NLP, hypnosis, affirmations, endless self-help books, and so much more. And while these practices helped for a short while to manage the symptoms, they always felt like ways to avoid, minimize or control what I was feeling.

Eventually, I discovered that no matter how much you run from pain or pretend that it isn’t there, it always quivers close by your feet like a shadow.

And in this discovery, I learned something important which I wish all people on the earth could discover:

the cure for pain IS in the pain.

What does this mean?

As Sufi mystic Rumi so eloquently pointed out, pain offers the very doorway to healing. Your pain is a messenger, a sign, and an opportunity to return to Wholeness again.

Pain is essentially a slap on the face that shouts “Hey! Wake up! You’re resisting or clinging to something here.”

So what can we do when we finally wake up?


How To Overcome Chronic Emotional And Psychological Suffering

When I talk about overcoming chronic emotional and psychological suffering, I’m not talking about a quick-fix, once-and-for-all cure to your pain. Sorry. It just doesn’t work that way.

What I can share with you is a tool that doesn’t try to avoid, minimize or control what you feel, but instead meets it, honors it, and allows it to teach you.

What I’m talking about is something called mindfulness. And from what I’ve experienced, this is the only tool I know of that can help you to meet and overcome pain moment-to-moment.

In terms of awareness, mindfulness is the most powerful soulwork tool I have worked with because it helps you to directly access your inner Higher Nature. What I call Higher Nature here is really only a fancy term for the space inside of yourself that is open, infinite, impersonal and all-loving — and we all possess this unconditionally peaceful space.

Here are some steps to help you overcome chronic suffering:


1. Be Willing To Face Your “Darkscape”

To overcome any chronic suffering you’re experiencing, you really must be willing to search your darkness. You must be willing to face what you have not yet faced, or avoided within you for potentially many years.