How to Get Your Boyfriend to Chase You Again

How to Get Your Boyfriend to Chase You Again

A reader emailed me asking my thoughts on an article she had found online on getting your man to chase you again. I told her never to read anything like that again.

There is so much shit on the internet telling you what you want to hear—to get you to buy the product—that in reality is setting you up for utter disaster. Let’s tackle this topic appropriately, shall we?

Here’s how to get your boyfriend to chase you again.

The Shit You’re Being Told

You’re in the dumps because your man doesn’t leave roses on your doorstep anymore, the trance he used to fall into every time he looked at you over dinner is long gone, and his body no longer quivers in anticipation when you undress.

The truth is, he’s fallen victim to the comforts of routine; now that he has you, he doesn’t have to work for you anymore. So you feel like a beaten up old rag as you watch him gawk at the unattainable blonde across the room. You look online for support and you find the following:

“He’s gotten lazy because you’ve let him. If you don’t keep him on his toes, he’s going to feed into his evolutionary instinct and go hunt somewhere else. You can TRAIN him! Set some ground rules early in the game. It’s time to transform yourself into the person you KNOW he’ll chase for the rest of his life!”

The following list of tips was taken directly for the article sent to me.

  • Keep him out of his comfort zone by making rules early on, even if he doesn’t like them
  • Make sure he realizes just how desirable you are to others
  • Never become lazy yourself
  • Don’t be at his beck and call
  • Ensure you retain your friends, interests, vacations and activities to a degree
  • Never allow him to think you are reliant on him
  • Keep some of your finances separate
  • Don’t always return his phone calls
  • Don’t allow him to know what you are thinking all the time
  • Socialize without him occasionally
  • All domestic duties are shared, no excuses
  • Threaten to dump him occasionally
  • Use all your womanly powers that you employ so well in the early stages of dating
  • Change your mind about things occasionally and keep him guessing
  • Ensure you retain male friends you had before
  • Find his weak spots and use them when need be
  • Do not run around after him
  • Get him to do the laundry
  • Go on vacation with your friends

For god’s sake. Are you kidding me?

Make rules, even if he doesn’t like them? Find his weak spots and use them when need be? Threaten to dump him occasionally? It’s like a list of really bad rules to a game.

Here’s the thing: this kind of shit will sound so appealing to you in a time of desperation. You’ll find it right when you feel your relationship is slipping through your fingers and you’ll ignore every bit of common sense pointing you in the opposite direction. You will cave, and you will become a slave to a superficial 12 step program.

If you think relationships are as simple as ‘get him to do the laundry’ you aren’t worthy of even being on my website. Sign off and good luck.


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How to Get Your Boyfriend to Chase You Again

5 Crucial Rules To Text The Guy You Like Who Doesn’t Text You Back

5 Crucial Rules To Text The Guy You Like Who Doesn't Text You Back

He disappears for days, then blows up your phone. What should you text back?!

You and this guy have been texting for a month. You are completely smitten, and find yourself daydreaming about him instead of working.

When his messages pop up on your phone, you get a huge smile on your face, dying to see what he has to say.

Maybe you’ve gone on a couple of fun dates, but nothing too serious has been discussed between the two of you.

He’s very funny and enjoys joking with you until your stomach aches from laughter, and you both also have a love for Mexican food on the weekends.

By Thursday, your spicy cravings are really starting to kick-in. Did someone say mango margaritas? So you text him to see what he’s up to.

 

But this Friday he doesn’t make plans with you to hit up your favorite taco joint.

You wonder about what he’s up to and why he isn’t making plans … but you keep it chill and don’t say anything.

After all, you have your own life! Right?!

Finally, he mentions something about hanging with his boys and he would try to meet up over the weekend but doesn’t confirm any plans.

Monday morning rolls around and you still haven’t heard from him.

Then at ten in the morning, you receive a text message saying, ”Morning. How was your weekend?”

You want to respond, but at the same time, you’re annoyed and completely flustered because he was MIA all weekend.

So you debate, do you bring up that he ignored you all weekend? Or do you play it cool like you don’t care?

This happens to our friends and clients ALL the time, so we’ve come up with a set of five CRUCIAL rules to help you play it cool, but also find out what’s up. Here’s how to text a guy when you need him to take you seriously. 

1. Make him wait a bit!

You probably want to respond to his message right away, but WAIT!

You haven’t heard from him all weekend, so he doesn’t deserve your immediate attention. Stop and think about what you want to really say versus what you should say.

Impulsive messaging tends to come out like fast food, as opposed to replying with a well marinated, savory thought that will keep him coming back for more.

It’s your job to set the tone of the relationship if you want to keep the connection sizzling. Establishing boundaries in the beginning stages creates a recipe for him to follow for future interactions.

Remember — you show others how you want and deserve to be treated by how you communicate.

When you haven’t heard from him all weekend, wait a good amount of time before you respond to his Monday morning text.

A sufficient time would be 1-3 hours because you need to show him you have your own life too. Responding to him when you are free from your work duties or hobbies shows you aren’t available at his beckon call.

You’re not his ego-feeder.

 

2. Keep calm and cool. 

Don’t respond to a text message when you are angry, upset or completely distraught over his behavior.

Aggressive, fiery text messages often lead to a zero response rate.

They are overwhelming for men to read and may lead to him grabbing the fire extinguisher. This is can damage the connection instantly, cutting off all communication.

You will want to make sure you are calm and cool like a mango margarita before responding.

It’s not that you can’t be yourself, but you don’t want to explode without knowing how come he was MIA all weekend! It’s good to ask indirect questions and not assume his whereabouts, such as “Did you do anything fun this weekend?”.

If you find yourself wanting to unleash, establish a calming plan of action. Going to the gym, getting a massage or listening to good tunes are great options for releasing tension.

This is when self-care is your key ingredient to keeping the connection burning.

To be happy with dating, you first must be happy with yourself.

 

3. Own who you are.

Don’t begin with asking questions or making statements that come off needy or lack confidence.

Do NOT text:

“Where were you?”
“How come you didn’t text me all weekend?”

“So, sad we missed our burrito night!”
“I miss your face!”
“Did you take another girl to our restaurant?”

This is the opposite of confidence. And I’m sure this the opposite response you were hoping for.

Instead, reply confidently to his Monday morning text message like, 

“Weekend was great! Yours?”

You want to respond to his message with the same length of the message he sends you. Nothing too short or nothing too long.

Be concise and nice, and keep it at 10 words or less.

Sending a positive reply shows you have your own thing going on and are optimistic about life. Thus, showing his lack of communication didn’t impact your weekend plans or mood.

You’ve got a life, girl!

Since you did not hear from him all weekend, you don’t need to give him all the details about your weekend, either.

He missed out by not messaging you, so you don’t owe him play by play unless he inquires more.

Leaving a little mystery makes him want you, as a man likes to be intrigued.

How To Get A Guy’s Attention According To His Zodiac Sign

How To Get A Guy's Attention According To His Zodiac Sign

You’ve got this in the bag.

Some may say that there are certain moves and lines you have to use in order to learn how to seduce a man: Wear your hair a certain way, act a certain way, only call back after a specific amount of time. Who came up with those rules anyway?

Seducing someone isn’t a scientific formula, and people are all unique and different. And when it comes to astrology, what works for one zodiac sign isn’t necessarily going to work for another.

And even your horoscope can agree that seduction shouldn’t be your whole personality.

It’s a way to get a guy’s attention before you show your whole package. You may be a girl who can verse a guy in a basketball shooting competition at the carnival, and then the next day takes him to an opera because he’s never been to one. The seduction is just to get his initial attention, and then the rest of your personality is the icing on the cake.

ARIES (Mar 21 – Apr 19)

Aries boys LOVE a girl that goes above and beyond for what she wants. They are a fan of competition, so make sure you stake your claim and let him know it’s him you want. But remember, honesty is key.

So don’t go telling him things that aren’t true about you. He won’t be happy if he focuses on you only to realize it’s not really you.

 

TAURUS (Apr 20 – May 20)

Taurus boys know that if they have patience, good things will follow, so if you want to catch his attention, maybe it’s best to start off as friends. Let him get to know how amazing you are by spending time with him and having long conversations.

He loves a girl who can communicate with him on a deeper level, so show him how dedicated you are to your friendship before moving on to something steamier. Make him laugh. Get him out of his serious state of mind for a bit.

 

GEMINI (May 21 – June 20)

The curious Gemini guy loves to find out new and interesting things about you, so surprise him by taking him on a spontaneous trip to a spot in town where you both have never been. Go there, explore, and talk the day away and by the time you get home only YOU will be on his mind.

 


CANCER (June 21 – July 22)

If you want to get a Cancer’s attention, all you have to do is touch him. But kind of secretly. Make it known to him that you’re into him without totally freaking his sensitive side out by getting in his face and making bold moves. Go easy. Be patient and it will pay off in the end.

 

LEO (July 23 – Aug 22)

Sometimes with a Leo, you have to really work to get his attention, so doll yourself up, bat your eyes, and be up front about what you want. Or just lay a giant kiss right on his lips. Yep, that should work.

 

VIRGO (Aug 23 – Sep 22)

Virgo men can be kind of complicated — they are super loyal, but their analytical nature can sometimes make things harder. So the absolute best way to get his attention is to be wholly and emphatically you.

If you’re out at the bar, grab a beer, have a real conversation, and really highlight your magnetic personality — all without exaggerating anything. He’s tuned in and notices the tiniest details, so make sure you’re on your best behavior. If all goes well, he’ll feel instantly connected to you and things will be set in the right direction.