Unfortunately, our powerful brain – the thing that distinguishes us from every other animal in the world – can also be our worst enemy. Our brain loves to run negative tapes over and over, tapes that serve to reinforce all of the bad thoughts that we have about ourselves, our loved one and our lives.
These negative thoughts don’t serve us in any way and can actually make healing more difficult.
There are ways to deal with these intrusive thoughts. The first is to start having the awareness that the thoughts are just that, intrusive and not necessarily productive.
Next, accept that the thoughts are not serving you but that they should not be chased away. Let these thoughts float through your head and don’t try to analyze them or give them any power. And then let them go.
It’s also important to remember that the thoughts will probably come back and that you will have to practice this awareness over and over. Ultimately, with time, those intrusive thoughts will dissipate.
Another useful tool for reducing the power of intrusive thought is by doing something that will occupy your brain. Yoga and meditation are excellent tools for managing intrusive thoughts but reading, TV, and sleep also work. Whatever you can do to give yourself a break from those thoughts, even for a little while, will help you manage them and reduce their effect on you.
Struggling to deal with intrusive thoughts? Read What You Need To Know About Intrusive Thoughts
4. Work to trust again.
Many people who are trying to understand surviving online infidelity find that they have developed significant trust issues.
When the person who we love the most, on whom we have put all of our hopes and dreams, who we trust more than anyone else, betrays us then our place in the world is profoundly affected. Instead of believing in the best in people, we are instead left believing that people are ultimately evil and that trusting ourselves and our emotions to anyone will only cause us pain.
It is important when your partner has been unfaithful, that you spend as much time as possible with those who love you and those you can trust. One person has betrayed your trust, not everyone, and being reminded of that regularly will help restore your faith in people.
With time and help, you will learn that trusting people is possible and that even that person who betrayed your trust might be worthy of it again.
5. Know that you will be okay.
Are you struggling with the belief that nothing will ever be the same again? That happiness will be forever out of reach, that you will never love again and that life can not possibly go on? Are you feeling completely hopeless by the prospect of your future?
It is important that you understand the nature of hopelessness around online infidelity. For many people, their partners cheating can lead to depression and, when we are depressed, the belief that anything will ever be okay again is inconceivable. When we are depressed we are simply incapable of believing that life will get better.
But, let me promise you that, with time and treatment, the feeling of depression and hopelessness will fade. Life does go on, you will love again and that happiness will once again be yours.
Again, spending time with people who love you is an excellent way to manage the hopelessness. You might not believe them at the moment but having people remind you that you will get through this and that life will go on is an essential part of the healing process.
Have you ever tried surviving internet infidelity? Read Surviving Online Infidelity: Are Cyber Affairs Any Less Harmful?
Surviving online infidelity is definitely possible. People do it every day.
What has happened to you has been traumatic and you fear for your future but, with awareness and acceptance, you can move forward and be happy again.