If you are obsessing about the time wasted in a relationship with your ex, let it go. Yes, it ultimately didn’t work out but I am guessing that you had some really good times and perhaps you have even learned some things about yourself that will help you in future relationships.
4. Self Doubt.
Many of us don’t realize that when we are feeling depressed after a break up it’s because we are feeling so badly about ourselves.
If we are left by someone, we question why we weren’t good enough. If we do the leaving, we wonder what is wrong with us that we can’t find a steady relationship. We truly believe that we are flawed in some deep way and that we will never be happy with someone and get the things we want in our lives.
Let me tell you, there is NOTHING wrong with you. Yes, you weren’t well-matched with your ex but that doesn’t mean you are flawed. Of course, I encourage everyone to take a good look at themselves and see what they have learned over the course of the relationship but that doesn’t mean that you are damaged or unloveable in any way just that you, like everyone, are a work in progress and a human being.
You are how you are. If someone doesn’t see how amazing you are, they aren’t worthy of you. If you chose a partner in error, remember we all make mistakes.
The important thing is to pick yourself back up, have faith in yourself and your ability to connect and keep on looking for your happily ever after! You are absolutely worthy of a happily ever after!
5. The Big Picture.
One of the things that people really don’t notice when they are feeling depressed after a break up is that there is a whole lot more depressing stuff going on in the world. And those things make our depression worse.
I have a client who is struggling big time with a broken heart and every day focuses on it being the source of her depression. The reality is that she is also struggling with a daughter she is estranged from, job insecurity, and Covid-19. Those are all things that are mostly out of her control so it’s hard to face them. And when she feels bad about them, she defaults back to ruminating about her break up. Instead of understanding that she has a lot of challenges in the world, she blames all of her unhappiness on her broken heart.
So, ask yourself, what are you struggling with these days, other than your break up? Are some of those things that you haven’t dealt with because focusing on your broken heart is easier? If the answer is yes, understand that part of the depression that you are feeling are those things and not just your broken heart!
Related: The 5 Stages of Moving On
Feeling depressed after a break up is totally natural. It’s not fun but it’s natural.
It is surprising that oftentimes what we feel is making us so depressed, the end of our relationship is not necessarily the only thing that is making us depressed.
We are depressed because we are afraid of the future, because we are bored, because we are struggling with wasted time and self-doubt and because the world is a damn hard place to cope with these days.
So, as you ride out your broken heart, take stock of these 5 surprising reasons you might be feeling depressed after a breakup and know that you will get through this time and out the other side better than ever!
You can do it!