Superiority Complex and its Manifestations

Superiority Complex and its Manifestations

This post does not seek to offend anyone, nor does it seek to put me as an author on a moral high ground – I do not stake claim to any perfection and could well be perceived as many things by many people. These are just posts for reader consumption, perhaps to help connect a few dots, and have some fun in the process!

Haven’t we interacted with people who exude an air of – wait let me put it explicitly – a sense of entitlement when they walk into any space? Watch out, while you may be wondering if they are suffering from superiority or an extreme sense of insecurity, you may discover that their behavior shows manifestations of superiority and an anxiety to prove otherwise to others. More often that not, superiority is an extreme sense of “feeling special”, and borders mildly with egotism.

I am a perfectionist, I know it all – and most certainly better than you.

Superiority complex comes with the vibe of “I know it all – and better than you”.

Some people just exude this air and do not offer explanations. Some kinder souls launch into long drawn harangues about their accomplishments, their educational feats, their life experiences, their travels, the workshops they have attended, their lifestyle, their presence of mind which, ahem, naturally make them entitled to preach! So, woe betides, if the recipient does not buy into the story.

Now, one may ask what if someone were to accidentally be boastful, without any overt intention. Possible. One way of giving the benefit of doubt would be to see the consistency with which someone is boastful, and full of swag. Consistency is key – even for a superiority complex! 

I will give instructions to the last micro-details, basically, I will teach God godliness.

Wow, this is the hallmark of superioritywhen a person teaches and gets instructional not for his own betterment, but purely because they live in the grand illusion of altruism, that they are out to bring out the best in another – that they know so much that they instruct and micro-manage another to the extent that they end up stifling and killing the other’s natural ability. All this, while living in their head with the notion that they are doing their best to uplift Mankind! 

Magic Mirror on the Wall, I am the most beautiful of all.

Self love is good and highly recommended in a world where people are increasingly so distant from themselves. But, there comes a fine line between self love and vanity. A sense of one’s beauty and good looks gives rise to superiority.  However, this is the toughest trait to discern in a world that actually encourages vanity and narcissism through posts, selfies. After all, technology has pushed even the most unassuming person into self-indulgence. So, how do we know?  We would know a vain person from an enthusiast – we are intelligent and intuitive enough to know. Trust instinct – we can spot vanity through the constant and consistent need for praise over one’s looks, smile, charm, dress sense, elegance, house, money, wealth, status et al.

I am the center of attention. Spotlight on me, please.

In a gathering, the person who is cynosure of all eyes need not necessarily be a vain, conceited a**hole. Watch for this: There are people who manage to be the center of every other mini-group, surrounded by admirers, saying little or nothing, fishing for compliments by throwing a glance here and there. That is superiority at play for you. These are the ones who can’t handle the principal person in the spotlight, and ensure their presence is missed in every gathering, and people ask for them. They generally make a grand entry, speak little and get their attention quotient for the day. Some pretend humility, while others don’t – they don’t deem it fit to make the effort, you see.

 What I believe is the best, is the best.

And compliments? It is only receiving. Giving is a big NO. But, naturally, how can the world’s best person come down from their pedestal and dole out a good word? Or, even if they do, it is done with a sense of deliberate measure, and said with so much strategy that the naive recipient should end up feeling God showered flowers on him right from the heavens. You see, praise came from the best, in acknowledgement of me being somewhere distantly close to the best. 

I want you to ask about me, since I am the most interesting person I know.

I read this anecdote once from a therapist, who wrote with utmost discretion of course. One of her clients had once mentioned that he boarded a flight during one of his sojourns, and the person sitting next to him was a famous songstress. So, the excited fan ended up having this most wonderful conversation with her and excitedly exchanged numbers with her. On return, he sent her a text message, and got NO reply. A confused X (let us keep it that way) asked the therapist: “We had such a brilliant conversation. I was convinced she liked me. She confided so much about herself – her blunders, flaws, her relationships. She even fielded all my questions – it was so personal and warm. What went wrong?”

The therapist probed further and discovered: The songstress had found the ideal gullible fan on a long, boring flight. She spoke, yes, but only about herself – and had found the right co-dependent listener in the poor fan, who was misled into thinking he had met the next great friend or love of his life.  It was the classic case of a self-absorbed, vain celebrity who had little or no time for a real connection. But, such people lurk among us too. Watch out.

I love gossip, I love to gossip, I spread gossip.

Human beings are born for conversation. We all love to talk about something/someone.  Being diplomatic is often seen as being boring. But, make no mistake, sharing honest observations with a trusted, dear one is highly different from gathering a mini-forum and spreading stories and malicious criticism or commentary about someone. When a person has aired his “honest” opinion about someone to a group, observe him carefully – is he downright bitchy? Downright dismissive, and immediately asserting how he or she is not like the other person, and “different” with great ethics and values? Are they “meming” the person in question? There, you got your Mr. or Ms. Superior of the Decade, and you could well be the next fortunate victim of their calculated malice, on another date when you happen not to be there.

I am most humble, accommodating – hey, but one has to advertise it, no? 

When you are humble, you won’t advertise it. When you are accommodating, you wont talk about it too often. You will show it in action. Point, no?

So there, I had fun writing this! There may be more manifestations – and interesting variations to human behavior – and all negative behavior cannot be clubbed with a complex or psychopathy – we have to learn to be discerning, sometimes learn to ignore, if we can, or better still, write a post!


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