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How The Most Successful Couples Keep Their Passion Alive

Those quicker-to-harm and longer-to-heal interactions signal that the relationship is losing its elasticity and may appear to have lost its ability to weather emotional stretching.

The Healing Response:

These quicker-to-irritation reactions sometimes surface gradually, and at other times seem to be all-of-a-sudden changes. They often are first noticed during conflict as resolution takes longer to happen.

As soon as either partner recognizes that resiliency is waning, he or she must bring it to light. The couple must search together for the underlying cause of the quickness-to-impatience and what is behind its emergence.

When intimate partners stay up to date with their love and their uneasiness, they can catch these new irritations early enough to soothe them.

5. Lessening Energy

Warning Signs:

One of the most observable characteristics of new lovers is their heightened energy together. They literally fill a room with their sparkling aura, often becoming more impactful and attractive as a couple than either was alone.

Because of the magnetic glow that emanates from that love-core partnership, it is very easy to see the signs of apathy and ennui when they occur.It is as if a once-firm balloon is slowly losing air.

Partners who were once immediately responsive to every nuance of the other are now preoccupied and lax in their willingness to seamlessly create that aliveness in the same way they once did.

The Healing Response:

All intimate relationship partners eventually don’t require the constant need to please, not because they care less, but because they feel more secure with each other. But apathy and ennui can be signs of growing boredom. If discovery is over, the relationship doesn’t require the level of energy it once did to delight.

When partners become aware that their relationship is losing energy, they must reevaluate why that is happening.

Is it truly a lack of interest, or perhaps even too much security?

Is there the possibility that one or the other partner is now giving the best of themselves elsewhere, content to use the relationship more to just refuel?

Great partners keep each other interested, because they are still excited about where their own lives are going, separately from one another. They don’t depend on the other partner to produce that experience for them.

 

6. Lessened Affection

Warning Signs:

New lovers are intertwined, spiritually, emotionally, physically, and mentally. They are in constant touch in every way, reaching out for each other for the magic that they can create together.

Waning affection is the most observable warning sign of a relationship in trouble. One or both partners turn the other away, instead of seeking the warmth of each other’s embrace.

When affection wanes, the first sign is often a lack of interest in sexual connection and painful feelings of rejection in the exiled partner.

Sadly, many respond to that lessened desirability with frustration, anger, or blame, which pushes the other partner farther away.

The Healing Response:

If either partner begins to focus on self to the exclusion of the other, a gentle re-inviting or genuine inquiry may be all that is needed to put the relationship back on track.

It is crucial that those challenges be expressed without suspicion, anger, or blame. A partner who has temporarily pulled away from the other may react badly to the way they are presented and miss the underlying validity of the inquiry.

The potential for a new relationship to become a deepening commitment is much more likely if the partners pay attention to these warning signs early in the relationship. New lovers are often resistant to act upon them, because they are either so blinded by the passion enfolding them, or do not want to challenge their fantasy world.

Yet, the future of their relationship may depend upon their willingness to risk some of the early magic to build the foundation that might keep it intact.

It is the passion that is in a kiss that gives to it its sweetness; it is the affection in a kiss that sanctifies it. – Christian Nestell Bovee

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Dr. Randi Guntherhttp://www.randigunther.com/
In her 40-year-career as a clinical psychologist and marriage counselor, She Had Spent Over 100,000 face-to-face hours with singles and couples helping them to sort out their desires and conflicts about intimate relationships. She Had explored all the reasons why their relationships so often start out euphoric only to crumble and how they can turn those disappointments into future successes. She truly believe that the greatest obstacles standing between you and the love you want is often right before your eyes but you are unable to envision the journey. Her specialty is to help you look at yourself and your relationships with heroic honesty and the willingness to look deeply at yourself and what you bring to a relationship so that you can finally create the kind of transformation that will change you forever. You'll finally understand why you've struggled in love, and what skills you'll need to create the kind of relationship you've always wanted - one in which you fall deeper in love while simultaneously scaling the heights of your individual potential. It's how her husband and She have made their marriage their bedrock for over 60 years. Subscribe to her free advice newsletter at www.heroiclove.com where she'll tell you everything she has learned about finding and keeping a truly heroic relationship.
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