5. Lessening Energy
One of the most observable characteristics of new lovers is their heightened energy together. They literally fill a room with their sparkling aura, often becoming more impactful and attractive as a couple than either was alone.
Because of the magnetic glow that emanates from that love-core partnership, it is very easy to see the signs of apathy and ennui when they occur.It is as if a once-firm balloon is slowly losing air.
Partners who were once immediately responsive to every nuance of the other are now preoccupied and lax in their willingness to seamlessly create that aliveness in the same way they once did.
The Healing Response:
All intimate relationship partners eventually don’t require the constant need to please, not because they care less, but because they feel more secure with each other. But apathy and ennui can be signs of growing boredom. If discovery is over, the relationship doesn’t require the level of energy it once did to delight.
When partners become aware that their relationship is losing energy, they must reevaluate why that is happening.
Is it truly a lack of interest, or perhaps even too much security?
Is there the possibility that one or the other partner is now giving the best of themselves elsewhere, content to use the relationship more to just refuel?
Great partners keep each other interested, because they are still excited about where their own lives are going, separately from one another. They don’t depend on the other partner to produce that experience for them.
6. Lessened Affection
New lovers are intertwined, spiritually, emotionally, physically, and mentally. They are in constant touch in every way, reaching out for each other for the magic that they can create together.
Waning affection is the most observable warning sign of a relationship in trouble. One or both partners turn the other away, instead of seeking the warmth of each other’s embrace.
When affection wanes, the first sign is often a lack of interest in sexual connection and painful feelings of rejection in the exiled partner.
Sadly, many respond to that lessened desirability with frustration, anger, or blame, which pushes the other partner farther away.
The Healing Response:
If either partner begins to focus on self to the exclusion of the other, a gentle re-inviting or genuine inquiry may be all that is needed to put the relationship back on track.
It is crucial that those challenges be expressed without suspicion, anger, or blame. A partner who has temporarily pulled away from the other may react badly to the way they are presented and miss the underlying validity of the inquiry.
The potential for a new relationship to become a deepening commitment is much more likely if the partners pay attention to these warning signs early in the relationship. New lovers are often resistant to act upon them, because they are either so blinded by the passion enfolding them, or do not want to challenge their fantasy world.
Yet, the future of their relationship may depend upon their willingness to risk some of the early magic to build the foundation that might keep it intact.
It is the passion that is in a kiss that gives to it its sweetness; it is the affection in a kiss that sanctifies it. – Christian Nestell Bovee
Related Video: Physical Intimacy And Aural Energy
Written By : Randi Gunther Ph.D.
Originally appeared in PsychologyToday
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