Your beliefs form the perceptual lens through which you look, judge and make choices. The only way to see new possibilities is to challenge your assumptions as to what you believe to be true and shift your thinking. This can be scary, but it is necessary.
Become an artist of possibility, refuse to accept the status quo. Be willing to step outside your comfort zone, take risks, challenge your assumptions, recognize and breakthrough fear and, imagine multiple possible futures.
Seek clarification before jumping to conclusions. It’s easy to assign dark motives to others. Give others the benefit of the doubt. Seek information without judgment.
TOUGH LIFE FACT #6:
When you fall prey to taking things personally, you are giving your power away.
When you let other people distress you, you are allowing them to dictate how you feel. You are drinking the poison they are giving you.
If you act through love instead of fear and accept yourself, you WILL attract people who will accept and love you for the way you are.
TOUGH LIFE FACT #7:
Be comfortable with discomfort.
EVERYONE resists external or internal change that takes them out of their comfort zone. Growth in all areas requires you to do so.
Neuroscience tells us that our primitive brain is designed to notice the negative before the positive. From years of personal coaching, I have concluded that many people waste 90 percent of their energy in a fruitless attempt to change the unchangeable.
Many who truly desire to transform their lives are often unable or unwilling to acknowledge what cannot be changed. This is not only a waste of time, but it is frustrating and exhausting.
You can avoid this trap by learning to identify what can be changed and let go of the rest—quickly.
Feel the fear and do it anyway.
Nobody can hurt me without my permission. — Mahatma Gandhi
TOUGH LIFE FACT #8:
If you obsess on what others say, you have way too much free time on your hands.
If you obsess, you are filling a void better filled with some productive activity. Refuse to waste your time. Fill your time with family or friends. Choose to do activities that bring you joy and require focus. i.e. golf, tennis, writing, painting, museums, gardening, reading.
TOUGH LIFE FACT #9:
NO ONE is going to help you if you don’t help yourself.
There are tools you can use when you fall into the trap of taking things personally. They are time-sensitive. In other words, use them when you feel threatened to reframe your thinking.
Related article – 5 Ways To Keep Yourself Calm During A Triggering Event
1. BREATHE IMMEDIATELY!
Remember that if you respond negatively to taking things personally, you are falling in the trap of fear. Fear makes your breathing shallow which, at the moment, exacerbates the fear.
The moment you are aware, take a few deep breaths before you respond. This will help you to calm your mind and body. Therefore, you are less likely to have a knee-jerk reaction.
2. GET CLARIFICATION.
Refuse to get dragged down in the muck of your anger by jumping to conclusions. If possible, ask questions to help you clarify by what the other person meant. And if you can, explain instead of blame. Explain how what you just heard makes you feel.
3. STOP COMPLAINING.
Complaining to others about how someone else made you feel is like dumping a bucket of poop on the person at the receiving end. Plus, it triggers you to replay your grievance.
4. REFUSE TO GO IN THE GUTTER.
Take the high road. You may feel good by lashing out at the moment, but you will pay the price with guilt or regret. Let it wash off you. Make an agreement not to dwell on it.