5. “If he could he could”
When I want to shout at my child because he does not tidy his room or practice his piano, I sometimes take a step back and I put my trust in him. I say, “If he could, he could.”
In general, my child wants to please me and do well then what prevents him from doing what I ask him? Maybe his room is really too messy and he feels completely overwhelmed.
I can then find an agreement for us to do it together (he puts away what is on the floor and I help him with his desk).
Or sometimes he does not do it because he does not understand something (he blocks on a passage of his piano score and he gets discouraged) or he does not because he thinks he already has too much to do it and he cannot do everything.
When my child can, in general he does what I ask him.
6. The barrier test
When my child goes beyond the limits of his behavior, whether he makes me a crisis at the cash desk of the store for me to buy chewing gum or that he challenges me with a virulent, I remember a council received from my mom.
Children need to feel safe and know that we are able to put a solid framework around them to protect them from this world they do not know.
A bit like a balcony barrier that protects and prevents from falling into the void. Regularly my child will come to test if the barrier is solid.
It’s up to me to prove to him that’s the case. If I scream and get angry, I create the opposite effect and cause him to feel anguish and fear. So I firmly put the limit and I do not pick up my frame. He needs it to be reassured.
I hope these tips will help you. I am also sure that you have also tested and found things that work to live more serenely your parenting!