9. Reinvent love
Relationships are complicated. It can be even more chaotic when you are an insecure person who believes they don’t deserve to be loved. By holding on to the pain and suffering inside, you make yourself believe that your partner will leave you unless you isolate and control them. Your insecurities give rise to a persistent fear of the end of the relationship.
But here’s the thing – relationships end. Some of them do last a lifetime, but most of them don’t. You need to enjoy the relationship for as long as it lasts instead of desperately keeping it from reaching a natural conclusion.
It’s okay for a relationship to end because the end will mark a new beginning. The more you become desperate to hold on to your relationship and your partner, the more jealous, controlling, and abusive you will become. And no one wants to stay with an abusive person. So learn to let go and redefine love and relationships.
10. Seek help
If you think that you are abusive then you need to seek professional help and support from your loved ones. Most of the time, abuse can often arise from certain underlying mental health conditions like trauma, anxiety, depression, and substance abuse. Treatment can not only help you to cope with the symptoms of mental disorders, but it can also empower you to bring about a necessary change in your mindset, attitude, and personality.
Consulting a licensed therapist, counselor, clinical social worker or mental health professional will enable you to manage your thoughts and emotions and gain better control over your reactions. Therapy can help you with substance abuse issues, anger management issues, unhealthy boundaries and toxic relationship tendencies. Moreover, learning and implementing certain self-help strategies and quitting alcohol or drugs can also help you stop being abusive.
Related: 10 Common Myths About Therapy
Be Compassionate, Not Abusive
Admitting that you are an abusive person and deciding to change takes a lot of strength and courage. But change is possible. Although most abusers never change, some do. And you can too. You can become a loving, compassionate, caring, supportive, and “non-abusive” person. You can build happier, healthier relationships.
As long as you are committed and determined, you have a strong support system and you seek professional help, you can change your abusive personality. All you need to do is be accountable, forgive yourself, respect others and control your expectations.
Here is an interesting video that you may find helpful: